Toxic
by islandofmisfittoys
Summary: "You're really carefree." I said, almost in admiration but also in fear, "And I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing." "I can tell you right now, it's not good. I'm not good," he said, turning to look at me with a smile, "For you anyway." (Eli x OC)
1. First Day

Alright so hey guys hey, I want to say a few things first before starting. I was ihearteligoldsworthy idk if any of you remember me but yeah. :) and secondly, I had posted this story earlier and I got a really really rude review with comments like "_**I'm ****writing me as a character so I can date Eli" and that "NOBODY wants to read a shitty story with some random cunt as a character."**_Firstly, I'm _not _writing me as a character so if you think that I'd rather you just not read this at all honestly, these are stories that are in my mind that I want to write, if there was a character on the show that fit this, I would write them in but there's not and I'd rather create an original character than make characters out of character. And if I was to write myself as a character with anyone it would be Cam (still cryin) so yeah. And secondly, I appreciate any type of criticism but if it's anywhere as rude as that I will delete it if it's anoymous which it will be because let's face it, I don't think anyone's brave enough to write a review that rude without hiding. At first, I was just going to quit writing but I thought it over and I'm not gonna let anyone take something that I love doing away because they want to be rude or don't like it. So yes this is an OC story and if you don't like it then okay. I'm writing this because _I like it and I want to._

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As my alarm went off, I laid up in my bed hoping the time would go by faster and faster so that eventually I'd be too late to even go to school. But, as if he knew exactly what I was trying to plan, which he probably did considering I pulled this trick every first day, my dad barged open the door, slamming it against the wall to emphasize the force of his entrance.

"I know what're trying to do and it's not working." He said, approaching my bed and pulling the covers off of me which was sure to get me up.

"I don't want to go and be new and everything." I said, pulling the covers back on me.

"No matter what day you go, you're going to be new so might as well get the first day out-of-the-way and done." He said, while walking out then poked his head back in, "Plus, you have to take Sam to school."

"I thought you were taking him!" I yelled in anger, having to get up because if I didn't he'd be late too and if he was late, I would be grounded and I had to avoid that.

"You thought wrong." My dad yelled back, "Your money is on the table along with Sam's lunch!"

I sighed a sigh loud enough for the neighbors and anyone else within the block to hear. I hated taking my brother to school because they meant I had to get ready quicker and I had to leave the house earlier. Luckily, I had picked out my outfit the night before so I wouldn't screw up my newly cleaned room in less than 20 minutes. I closed my door and plugged in my curling rod as I figured since it was the first day I might as well put in effort to my hair. I changed into a light wash denim jacket with a white crochet top and a high-low sheer skirt with tights to match and my shiny black leather Doc Martens that I had to save my summer job money to buy, with the help of my dad's money as well. After I curled my hair making sure my newly dyed blue hair underneath was visible, I grabbed my backpack and walked downstairs to see my brother already sitting on the couch with his bowl of cereal, watching cartoons.

"You look pretty." He said, between a bite of Apple Jacks.

"Really?" I asked, genuinely surprised because my brother usually never said anything nice to me unless he wanted something, much like every other older-younger sibling relationship.

"No." he smirked as I rolled eyes, annoyed at myself for falling for it.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the 20 dollar bill that my dad had left for me underneath my sky blue colored thermos that he had filled with my favorite iced coffee. I called to Sam to turn the TV considering we had to leave in 2 minutes to get to both my school and his without either of us being late. I had to get to school earlier than normal anyway to get my textbook and schedule and somewhat not get lost in the midst.

"Do you even know how to get to my school?" Sam asked, as we walked out the house and I closed the door behind us.

"No, but you do." I stopped, "Don't you?"

"You know sometimes it's hard being the smart child when you're the youngest. You put high expectations on my small shoulders, Summer." He said, looking up at me with fake wide eyes.

"Lead the way, Jimmy Neutron." I said, gesturing for him to walk in front of me as I'd trail along behind him.

I tied key point of the route in my mind so I'd know what to look for when I had to walk him to school again. I hated being in a completely different neighborhood where I knew where nothing was. My dad had driven us around a couple of times since we had gotten here to show us the feel of things and where certain things were. Being me, I forgot by the time I got home and started watching a new TV show.

Once we got to Sam's school, he was quick to run away to get into class, probably to make new friends as he was the complete opposite of me and I was jealous in a way. Sam made friends where ever he went. He was a people person, he loved meeting people and people loved meeting him. I, however, was a fan of sitting where no one else is until someone realizes I exist and decides to say something to me.

"What?" I stopped him, "No first day hug for your big sister?"

I grabbed him and hugged him tight making sure at least five to eight kids that hopefully would be in his class and had seen me and laughed.

"I hate you so much, I hope you know that!" he called as he ran away and towards the front doors.

"Love you too!" I yelled back as he walked into the building.

I turned around and started walking, realizing I had no clue about where I was going. The only way I knew to get to school was from my house. So, I ended up walking all the way back to my house and starting from there as if I was leaving for the first time. I put my earphones in my ear and listened to music as I walked. My dad told me not to because it would make me less focused and more vulnerable since one of my senses were being used but I knew he was over exaggerating, it was music and I could feel if someone was behind me.

Finally, I saw that I was getting somewhat close to Degrassi, my new hell on earth, as I saw the flags making its way through the spaces in the trees. I took my earphones out and wrapped them around my phone, stuffing it into my pocket as I walked up the front steps into the actual school. Everyone was familiar with everyone and were bragging about how amazing their summer was. I heard the keywords beaches, parties, hookups, breakups and I was thinking about my summer in which the keywords were Netflix, food, my bed, and my computer. I walked to the front office, where luckily there was no students to fill my ears with teenage recklessness stories.

"Hello," the woman at the desk said looking at me with squinted eyes as if she was trying to figure out who I was to call me by name but when she couldn't, she settled for, "How can I help you?"

"I have to get my schedule and textbooks." I said, hoping in my head that I didn't sound rude because I wasn't rude, to people I didn't want to be rude to.

"Oh, no problem." She said, clicking something on the dated computer that all school front desks have, "What's your name?"

"Summer Mitchell." I said.

"One second." She said, with a smile as she got up to what I assumed were the files on the wall that was filled with drawers to get my schedule.

"Isn't Summer a season?" Someone behind me said.

"Why do you care?" I said, trailing off at the last word once I turned around and suddenly had to struggle to breathe as I had never been that close to a boy who was that cute. His lips were turned up on one side in a smirk as his crystallized green eyes were looking down at me, making my heart rate accelerate in a way that definitely wasn't humanly possible.

"Oh, I don't." he said, as I could practically feel the amusement flying from him, "I just figured I'd pull a pun on your name, I'm sure you've gotten it before."

"Just like I'm sure you've gotten compliments being an asshole before, am I right?" I said, suddenly not feeling so scared anymore. His looks were defeating, no denying that. But if he had the courage to pun at my name without knowing me, that was an easy lead way into the 'okay to be rude to' list. I turned around, hoping that he would get the hint that I didn't want to talk to him but I felt his body shift closer to mine and I stiffened.

"Totally right, not that it effected me." I could hear the smirk as he put his mouth close to my ear, "But if it's coming from someone like you, I'll have to stay up all tonight and dream about it, won't I?"

I could feel my entire spine freeze in a matter of seconds as his breath collided with my skin, creating a reaction I had never had before. I prayed and prayed that soon enough she would find my paper so he could back off of me once she came over. But it seemed like forever and a day had went by when she had finally turned around and he had leaned back slightly, making me heart finally start going somewhat back to normal.

"This is your schedule, map and locker combination." She said, handing me the papers.

"Thanks." I said, ready to quickly get out of there, almost tripping as I sped out.

But as I ran out, I could see mystery green-eyed guy smirk, knowing he got to me. So much for going through the first day normally.

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Alright first chapter check. If you want to review, there's the box. It's waiting for you. Just for you. Unless you're gonna write something rude, in which it's still there but don't worry, it won't be there long. :)


	2. Locker Lunch

Hey again! I just wanna put this out there, Cam _isn't_ dead. In this story anyway though I wish he wasn't. And so since I'm still in denial, Cam will be in this story as a main character and I also have a oneshot that I want to write about Cam later but anyway, this story yeah it resumes now. :)

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I walked out of fourth period, trying to scan for any place else to go as I walked to find my locker. I had lunch and being the new kid made lunch seem like a horror movie sequel. Sure, I had my phone to listen to music and seem like I was texting and being social when I actually was just searching for new clothes that I'd have to convince my dad to get. But I didn't feel like having the constant stares of people who had friends to sit with and thought I was a charity case as they decided in their minds if I was worth inviting to sit with or not.

I decided that I'd just sit at my locker and eat lunch, as pathetic as it was, it was better than being surrounded by unsympathetic strangers. As I turned the corner to the hallway where my locker was, I saw the guy that ever so nicely punned at my name that morning. I stepped back quickly behind a wall, peeking out just enough so that he wouldn't see me but I could see when he walked away. I didn't want to have another confrontation with him, at least not yet. When he closed his locker and walked down the hallway and turned the corner, I waited a few minutes just to make sure he didn't come back and walked out from behind the wall. I scanned the locker numbers until I found mine which was relatively close to his from where I saw him at, in theory it could have been a good thing but it wasn't.

Trying to make a plan with myself to just come to my locker when he wasn't at his, I opened it and put my textbooks from my morning classes in the top part and grabbed my lunch as I closed the door. I slid down and sat on the floor, putting in my earphones and listening to music. As I listened to what was about the 4th song, I heard footsteps, I looked and there was green eyes walking towards me. I wanted to get up and run but there definitely wasn't enough time and I'd seem weird. I tried seeming like I was too caught up in trying to find a song by scrolling rapidly through my iPhone but he was still walking towards me until he stopped and sat down next to me.

His cologne scent of burnt vanilla and mint got stronger and stronger as he scooted closer next to me. Finally, I couldn't take just having him sit there awkwardly as I listening to music that my mind couldn't focus because of him. I took my earphones out and hastily put my phone in my bag.

"I didn't mean to disrupt your music experience." I could see him staring at me out of the corner of my eyes as I kept looking forward avoiding direct eye contact with him at all cost.

"Well, you did. You do a lot of things you don't mean, don't you?" I retorted, generally annoyed but somewhat amused.

"Sure, but most of the time, they end up in my benefit. For example, now instead of your music, I have you." He smirked, "See how things work out?"

I rolled my eyes, looking the opposite direction of the hallway trying to find something to look at so I wouldn't have to look at him, "You know I might have chosen to sit out here to be alone."

Being honest with myself, I actually didn't want him to leave. I enjoyed the bickering kind of thing we had going and if he left, I'd just be sitting alone. Sure, being alone wasn't half bad but part of me wanted friends that couldn't wait to hang out with me and I wanted to have people _want_ to be friends with me. But I didn't have that, until now. But I couldn't let him know that. I couldn't let him know that I actually enjoyed his company. I knew it would just make him all the more content with himself and that wasn't what I wanted, at least not yet.

"Well, you're stuck with me, Smitchell."

"Smitchell?" I said, finally turning around to face him and regretting it as I could feel my heart racing once again but continued anyway, "How are we already in the nickname stage when I don't even know your name."

"Eli Goldsworthy," he said, reaching over me and grabbing my lunch bag, "Now since we're on a first and last name basis, how about you share some of this Nutella?"

I looked at him with wide eyes. I hated sharing food with my friends but somehow I couldn't find the courage to say no to him and the only thing we knew about each other were names. I searched my mind to come up with an excuse.

"I only have one spoon." I said, hoping I only had one since sometimes I put more just in case I forgot one someday.

"I guess it's my lucky day." He smiled, pulling out two spoons and handing me one as he opened the top.

"You know, this relationship is moving awfully fast, I don't share food with people." I said, grabbing the jar from him and scooping some out.

He took it back and took a spoonful as he responded, "Well, I'm not just a person. I'm _the_ person, as in the only person you'll need to make this year the best."

"Says who?"

"Says me." He said, "And to prove my point, I'll ask you a simple question."

"Shoot." I shrugged, knowing he couldn't prove that huge of a point with a simple one line question.

"Alright, tell me at least one person you've seen today that you genuinely thought to yourself 'I'd like to be friends with them' besides me, of course."

I was ready to answer the question quickly just to prove him wrong but paused as I realized I couldn't come up with an answer. I couldn't think of a single person I really wanted to befriend so far.

"And my point is proven." He smirked.

I stared at him, not knowing what to say. Usually, I found people like him utterly annoying. But I thought that was just something he did. He was sarcastic and liked making it seem like he was the best, which convinced me that he was close it. It was weird, he annoyed me but in a good way. I wanted to be annoyed by him. It brought the side of me out that I always kept to myself. I had tons of remarks stored away in a part of my brain that I never said to people because mostly everyone took them seriously and would hate me for it. But with Eli, I could say anything and even if I meant it, I doubted it would hurt him.

Though it sounded weird, I felt safe with him. Safe with an almost complete stranger. It was a scary concept but all the more daring and the more I thought about it, the more it made me think that the scarier it was, the better it was.

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Did you know 1,000s of review boxes are unloved everyday just hoping for someone to show them they care and write in them? Well, you can help stop this abuse, and might I add for free, by just typing what you thought about what you just read box in the lonely box below. Make a difference. Be the change you want to see in the world.


	3. Class Skippers

Hey sorry I didn't update for a few, I was over my sister's house. Eating Taco Bell. No literally ate Taco Bell all weekend and I highly recommend the Baja Blast Freeze bc life aka bc it's just really really good. :)

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It's been a constant phrase that I've heard my whole life. The one where doing what you love was the most important thing. Most teenagers took that phrase too literally as in actually _doing _what they loved, as in who they loved most of the time. But I had no need to worry about that, it's not like awkward was some sort of mating call to guys. I was stuck taking the phrase as it was meant to be, doing something with my life and spare time that brought happiness instead of climaxes. Plus, doing something that I loved made a guarantee that it wouldn't leave me, it couldn't find someone better and leave me unless I wanted it to.

And my love was sitting right in front of me. My bow to my violin was in my hand and I stared at the piece on my stand in happiness. I was a band geek, if I had to be honest. I would rather sit and learn 5 new songs on a Friday night than go out and get drunk just to puke it all up the next day. Not that I had the option since I was never invited anywhere anyway. It sounded like I was complaining but it actually wasn't that bad considering, I didn't have to deal with people calling me a loser if I didn't want to do ecstasy or whatever drug they managed to take from their parents medicine cabinet. I also could sit around in sweatpants and not give a crap what I looked like.

Being the first chair violinist made my hands clammy and my heart race and from the looks of the people around me, they didn't appreciate the new girl coming in and taking first chair either. I tried to keep focus on my new sheet music when Ms. Oh, my teacher, started talking.

"Alright class, this year we have a new student as most of you have noticed. Summer Mitchell, stand up please," she said, gesturing for me to come over to her. I could feel my heart racing as I expected that I'd have to talk about my favorite things or what I liked to do in my spare time, "Summer, tell us about yourself, musically."

That suddenly made the about me process a little bit easier, though I still managed to stutter through the whole thing as my nerves got the best of me like they always do, "Well, I've been playing instruments for as long as I can remember. My first one was the little xylophone that almost every child had but I didn't just tap on it, I tried to make sounds and different tones with it. That's where it started. Then I branched out into piano, then string instruments, and here I am."

"Here you are." She said, as if I was the most important cellist to walk through the doors, "Everyone in here needs to take notes of Summer and realize exactly what being an instrumentalist is."

"You mean take notes on being a suck up." I heard someone mumble and the laughter following behind it proved that I wasn't just making it up in my head. I wanted to turn around and say something but I just kept my head down, focusing on the music because in the end of this class, that was all that mattered.

As we played, I could understand why I was chosen to be the 'suck up' of class. I was the person people wanted to hate on because they couldn't think of anything to do about me, they wanted to bring me down so I could be on the same level as them. But of course, I knew what key to play in while they were making all their notes flat. Ms. Oh had to stop at least every 10 minutes, 5 at the least, to fix someone. I didn't want to talk about anyone in my head, mostly, but they weren't making it easy considering they made fun of me for being good at instruments while they weren't good. I tried to focus on playing but it was hard with the constant chuckles behind me.

I counted down the minutes until the class was over and after what seemed like an hour went by, the bells finally rang and the bows were off the instruments. I struggled to put my violin away quickly enough so that I would have time to find my next class, which was English, without being late. Finally, I got it in but not even with barely enough time to not be late. I decided not to freak over it and just pull the I-Couldn't-Find-It-I'm-New card.

As I turned the corner to the hallway that my map had told me my class was in, someone pulled me back. I turned around knowing that only one person would do that, as if he knew that I knew it was him, he smirked in the same cocky way he always did.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked, realizing I was kind of loud when some class doors were open, so I lowered my voice to a whisper, "Don't you have a class?"

"Don't you?" he retorted.

"Yeah, I do and I was on my way when you pulled me back."

He looked down at my schedule, shifting his head so that he could read the words, "English, same as me. Good, that means you can skip with me."

He turned around, pulling me along but I pulled my arm back and stopped, "I can't skip on the first day of school."

"And why not?" he asked, turning around to face me and walking back toward me.

"Because it's the first day." I said. In my mind, that alone seemed like a good reason to not skip without furthermore explanation but I could tell with Eli, he definitely wanted more.

"The first day of school is the best day to skip, all she does is tell you what we're going to do and assign English partners. Plus, one of my friends is in there too so if you're really worried about missing something, there's your answer." He said, pulling me back with him again, "Now, let's ditch."

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"So, what is life like outside of Toronto?"

Eli and I were sitting on the roof of his car. He had a jet black 1967 Ford Mustang convertible that I fell in love with when I first saw it considering I had always wanted one just like I always wanted to learn how to drive. Being 18, I should have been taught but my dad was always too busy with work to teach me and I didn't really have any other adults that would.

"It's not much different. We have different surroundings and different things to do to the spare the time but in the end we all look up at the same sky and see the same things. We have the same annoyances and the same good things. But I guess you could say, it was more open and unique and not general. I lived in New York City, so everything was bigger and brighter and it wasn't judged for being that way, it was admired. And I know, if I pulled any of it here, I'd just judged in a heartbeat."

"Yeah but the key to overcoming that is not giving a fuck." He said, shrugging his shoulders as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do, which for him, it probably was.

"Easy for you to say." I said, as I tried to find shapes in clouds, "But I on the other hand, I have to care. I don't know why, I don't understand why but I can't not care."

"Alright, so you're saying you'd care if someone, anyone, people you didn't even know, complete strangers disapproved of anything about you?"

"Basically," I said, turning to face him, "No I wouldn't take them into consideration when I bought the outfit or put on the shoes but once I walk out and I see people looking at me, depending on how they look at me, I immediately regret it. Plus, I compare myself to people too much and it just gets everything in my head all sad."

I looked at the expression on his face and I, as I always did, immediately regretted it. It wasn't a look that was bad or anything but I couldn't read it, I couldn't tell what he thought about what I said. And I thought I sounded stupid and melodramatic which is what I thought he thought too. But he looked at me and he just looked for a while, no expression, no eye movements, no thoughts that could be read, he just looked.

Finally, he opened his mouth to say something but then closed it back quickly. Then he started again, "You don't have to compare yourself to anyone."

I could tell he wanted to say more but for whatever reason, he left it at that. I wanted to ask what else he wanted to say but he ended it like that for a reason and me trying to make him elaborate more would just end up in a failure that I'd regret starting in the first place.

"So," I said, trying to clear out the awkward air that was just swimming around freely, "Do you skip class often?"

I could see his lips turn up in a smirk as he was looking ahead, "I just do it when I feel like it."

"You're really carefree." I said, almost in admiration but also in fear, "And I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing."

"I can tell you right now, it's not good. I'm not good," he said, turning to look at me with a smile, "For you anyway."

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Alright hey hey hey you know you want to review so you should do that cause we're friends and like you know friends do that for each other. Am I right or am I right? (The answer is I am right)


	4. Riding Home

I really want a cool ranch doritos taco it came out today and I want it. I really like Taco Bell have you noticed? Okay so the story um this chapter is kinda short but I needed to give you something right? Right. Idk I really like this, it's like not a necessary chapter but it's cute so it's still necessary? I don't know, just read it.

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As we drove back to Degrassi after what would have been the time that the final bell would ring, we sat in silence with the murmur of a classic rock station playing on the radio. I stared outside the window, watching the buildings and trees fly by as I had thought about the last thing Eli said to me.

Every girl had always had their description of the perfect boy and though the physical and emotional traits of them were different from girl to girl, it seemed that almost all of them had the trend of the "bad boy". The boy you knew you weren't supposed to be with, the boy that would only cause trouble to your life. I never had that obsession, I never visualized that my perfect guy would be bad for me. But to my surprise, my bad boy was sitting right next to me. I didn't know anything really at all about him considering we met less than 9 hours ago. But all I knew was that even if he was bad for me, I couldn't stay away. I wanted to skip class with him and banter jokingly with him.

"So," he said, looking at me when we stopped at a red light, " Where are we going to continue this journey next?"

"Journey?" I asked, looking at the time on my phone, "Well, we'll have to end it because I have to pick up my brother from school. You can just drop me off back at school."

"Nonsense, I'll take you there." He said, pulling off after the light turned green.

I hesitated considering I didn't want to sound stupid but I didn't want to drive him all around either, "That's the thing. I only know how to get to his school from my house."

He chuckled as he looked me, "Really?"

I nodded my head, looking away from him as I started to feel more stupid than before I said it. His chuckle had died down quickly as he said, "I didn't mean to-" he cut himself, trying to find the right words I assumed, "Well, you're new so I get it."

I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say. I directed him to my house and then from there, guessed the way from the landmarks I'd focused on that morning to my brother's school. Luckily, my guesses were right and we didn't have to detour over and over in which I would have to hear my brother's complaints all the way home and at home as well.

When we pulled up, I saw my brother sitting on the front steps with about 5 other kids that I assumed were his friends because he always made friends, always. I got out of the car and walked over to him.

"Whose car is that?" he asked, leaning past me to admire it.

"My friend's."

"You made a friend on the first day?" he said, tapping my arm which was about as far as he could reach without getting on his tiptoes, "I'm proud of you."

I was scared of how much he sounded like my dad, but more sarcastically which I was almost sure he got from me. After saying bye to his new BFFs, we walked back to Eli's car and I prayed that Sam wouldn't start a conversation with him but as it always happened, it didn't work out that way.

"You seem like a pretty cool guy," he said, as he slid into the back seat, "Why would you choose to be friends with my dorky sister?"

Eli tried to hold in a laugh but it really didn't work as he chuckled through a response, "She doesn't seem all that dorky to me."

"Well, I'll tell you something, you're a real surprise," he said, leaning forward in-between Eli and I, "My sister here doesn't make friends often, she's what you call a loner. You know she only had-"

"Shut up!" I barked. I knew if he kept going, he'd make me seem like the loser I was and I didn't want to seem that way in front of Eli who was cool and carefree.

With that note, the rest of the ride was silent. Awkwardly silent. I could tell that Sam wanted to continue but I kept giving him the look every time I saw his mouth make the slightest movement.

When we pulled up to my house, Sam was the first to open the door to get out but stuck his head back in to say to Eli, "Well, it was nice meeting you and the ride was good before, you know." He gestured his head back to me as I got out the car as well. I wanted so badly for him to just shut up but he was Sam and he never shut up without a low blow insult or candy.

Sam ran up to the house, taking my keys to open the door as I stayed back while Eli got out the car and walked around to me.

"Thanks." I said. In my head, I knew it wasn't only for the ride but for being my only friend on the first day of school but I didn't even dare to consider saying that out loud.

"No problem," he smiled, then pointed in the direction of my brother, "He's a handful, huh?"

"More than that. But he comes around sometimes."

"He's pretty cool though, you know if I wanted a brother, I'd just take yours."

"Go ahead," I joked, "But you'd have to bring him back sometime. My life wouldn't be the same without his annoyance."

"Well that's alright, you have me to annoy you as well now."

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Did you know if you review, you might suddenly get a cool ranch doritos taco at your house? All you have to do is review then wait like a few weeks and you'll have a taco. _Okay maybe not but you have my love and that's like equally awesome so yay!_


	5. Ironically Late

I just want a cool ranch doritos taco I'm sorry I talk about tacos a lot. But anyway I feel like I haven't updated in a long time but it wasn't that long was it? If it was I'm sorry. :)

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"I can't go to school today." I muffled as I stuffed my head into my pillow when I heard my dad walk into my room for my annual wake up.

"And why's that?" my dad sighed, trying to make it seem like he actually cared why I didn't want to go.

"Because," I paused, I had to think of something good or I'd just be dumbing down my chances of getting out of school another day down the road. Before I could even finish, my dad cut me off.

"Anyway, it's only the third day of school, I'm sure you can make it through." He said, walking out.

"I can't!" I called down the hallway, "I hope you feel bad when I don't make it through."

"Just be happy that I'm taking Sam today." He yelled back as he closed the front door.

Once, I made sure that he was out of the driveway and off without any turn backs, I crawled back into bed. With my dad taking Sam, that meant I had an extra few minutes in which I could get to school without being late and what better way to spend those extra minutes than sleeping? I pulled my covers back on and closed my eyes, just for a few minutes. As I woke up, I rolled over to get up and looked at the clock to see how much time I had left. Time was not on my side, not even for a second.

A few minutes, so I thought. I opened my eyes to see that low and behold, I was already late for school and I wasn't even out of the bed. I jumped out of bed, quickly grabbing the clothes that were closest to me, a red flannel shirt, black leggings and black oxfords. I had absolutely no time for my hair so I just put it up in a messy bun and tied a red bandana as a headband. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and put on a quick layer of mascara as fast as I could. I ran down the steps, slipping on the fifth one to make it down.

I ran out the house almost closing the door when I remembered that I left my keys, running back in to grab them and running back out to try to make it to school before second period. I got tons of crazy looks from people regularly going about their day as I speed through the sideways but finally, I made it to Degrassi with just enough breath to make it up the stairs.

As I walked in, I tried to avoid Simpson at all costs even though I would obviously be marked late, I couldn't run into the principal. I looked through classrooms as I made my way to my locker. I passed by a classroom in which Eli was in. As if my presence was known to him at all times, he looked up and saw me. His eyes widened and he made a surprised face both in a sarcastic way to play up me being out of class while he was in class, oh the irony. The teacher saw him and told him to play attention, he snuck a look at me as he went back to learning and I made sure he saw me laugh as I was content with getting him in trouble.

I rushed to my locker and grabbed my books for all my classes before lunch. As I walked to first period, I saw that the door was still open. Trying to not get caught, I snuck in and sat down quickly in one of the seats in the back. Since I was normally never noticed, I thought it was be easy to get away with but turns out, this time wasn't as easy.

"Miss Mitchell, care to explain your tardiness?"

Suddenly the whole class knew who I was and turned around to look at me as I had to come up with an answer. I could feel my cheeks turning red in embarrassment as I was the center of attention. I wanted to come up with an awesome excuse but there was no time to and even given the time, I wouldn't have been able to get one.

"I overslept." I said, quietly, "I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

"Of course it won't," she said, turning back around to continue on with the lesson.

As everyone finally took their eyes from me, I put my head down trying to hide wishing I just didn't come to school today at all.

Next time I told myself to just not come to class at all. Sure, it'd be marked late on my record but I'd rather get ridiculed in the comfort of my own home than the presence of classmates that most likely didn't even know my name.

Considering I came in five minutes before class was over, the bells rang relatively quickly and I walked to my locker as I grabbed all the wrong books. As I was switching the books out of my locker, someone leaned against the locker next to me. I could already tell who is was by their all black converse and black jeans to match.

Even if I didn't know who it was, he was ready to make himself known, "Isn't it ironic how Ms. Goody Two Shoes was late to school while I was being a perfectly good student and sitting in class, learning."

"I overslept well, I woke up then went back to sleep and then overslept. I've never been late to school I think I could get a pass for today." I said, standing up and closing my locker.

" A pass?" Eli laughed, "Oh no, there's no such thing as a pass with me."

"I figured." I said, walking away.

He followed behind me and I smiled to myself as he did. We just walked without actually saying anything but it's wasn't awkward like most of my life was. It was comforting that I could walk alone with him and not feel weird or awkward. Even with my best friends at home, we had silences that I couldn't wait to get away from but I wouldn't mind if I just walked around silently with him like that.

"Well this is my stop." I said, as we made it to the science classroom.

"Alright, are you sure I can leave you here? Do I need to find someone to watch you? Because you need to learn and considering your behavior today, I'm very concerned." Eli smirked.

"You enjoy this don't you?" I tried not to laugh but couldn't help it.

"More than you'll ever know."

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This chapter is inspired by me being late to school to get Dunkin Donuts this morning but it was a free coffee so I had to get it right? Right. Just like that's a free review down there take advantage of it yay!


	6. After School

So see how I was like dying for a Cool Ranch Doritos Taco? Well I finally had one today and it was the best experience of my life and I suggest you all get one too so you can be as happy as I was. And I'm sorry if I don't update like so often but school sucks and homework sucks but I will update as often as I can, I promise!

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"I love how you're telling me what you're going to do."

I sat outside on the steps of school, talking to my brother on the phone as he was talking quickly about how he got invited over his friend's house to play video games and he just had to go and he didn't have any homework and his friend's mom would bring him home. For being in fourth grade, he really knew how to be persuasive, I still hadn't gotten that down packed.

He kept rambling on about it until I finally gave in. That meant a night full of Netflix without him, "Alright, alright!"

"Thanks!" he said, hanging up quickly as he got what he wanted.

I shook my head and laughed at how easily he got a yes out of me. Instead of sitting on the steps, I figured I should start walking home. As I did, I felt a car slowly driving behind me. At first, I just thought it was trying to find a house but after a block it still kept following me. Getting paranoid, I started to walk a little faster as I didn't want to turn around. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around to flip out but I should have known that there would be Eli sitting there, smirking with happiness.

"I don't think I told you that you're an asshole today." I said, looking into the window at him.

"Now I know why the day felt off."

I gave him two thumbs up with bright smile and walked off but of course, he didn't let me off that easy and followed me.

"Alright, come on, I can give you a ride." He called to me.

"I don't need one. I have nowhere to get to." I said, still walking.

"Your brother is still a thing, right?"

"Yeah but he's going to a friend's house."

"Well then that means you can spend the evening with me." Eli stopped the car, reaching over and opening the door for me.

"See, the way my life is set up, I was already late to school today and I don't think I need to get into any more trouble." I shrugged, trying to hide the fact that I really was planning to go with Eli even though part of me was scared of the trouble he would bring.

"Come on, I won't get you into any trouble," he said, waving me in, "Tonight anyways."

Figuring it was better than sitting at my house, eating and watching TV alone, I decided it was fine. I got into the car with him and closed the door. After driving around for a bit, Eli and I pulled up to a small house. It looked perfectly cozy and nice. He got out the car and walked around to the side I was on and waited until I got out.

"And this is my house." He said, gesturing to it as if we were on an episode of MTV Cribs as I followed him up the steps to the door.

"I'm surprised, I thought we'd go on some crazy adventure."

"Well, with the amount of time you have it wouldn't be crazy." He shuffled through the keys in his hand, finding the right one and opening the door but before he walked in, he looked at me, "And of course, the first adventure we go on will have to be crazy."

I followed him into his house, which I thought would be similar to him but in fact was pretty, pretty. The walls were a dark, cherry wood-paneled with wood floors to match that were just a normal wood color. The floor had a big forest green rug on it and there was a huge flat screen TV hung up on the wall. His house reminded me of a wood cabin, which I had always wanted to spend a weekend in.

After admiring his house, I did what any friend would do the first time they came to their friend's house, I went straight for the table with the childhood pictures of when Eli Goldsworthy wore denim overalls. I examined each one, hoping to find any embarrassing ones to hold against him for the rest of the year. Surprisingly, he was one of the only kids with no embarrassing pictures because each one looked this something from a 90s JCPenny's catalog. Either that or he was smart enough to have all his embarrassing pictures stored away in case company like me came over with the intent of searching for them specially.

"Aw, Eli you were so cute." I said, grabbing a picture of mini Eli running in a park with grass, smiling like all of us did at one point when we didn't have to worry about anything. I held it up next to his face and shifted focuses between him and picture, "It's a shame what time can do to some people."

"Don't worry, we can both recover with time." He said, patting me on the shoulder as he grabbed the remote to the TV, turning it on.

I sat down on the couch, as Eli walked into the kitchen, checking my phone to see if my brother or dad had called because they were the only two people who remembered that I had a phone and existed to call or text. When I saw no notifications like I did every time I checked my phone, I stuffed it in my back pocket.

"Hey, do you want pizza?" Eli asked, coming back into the living room with a pizza menu in one hand and his house phone in the other.

I almost opened my mouth and said that pizza was my favorite food and I could eat it every day and never get tired of it. But instead of saying of all that, I just settled for a simple, "Sure."

As he went to order the pizza, I grabbed the remote and shuffled through the channels. Of course, the only thing on after school was court TV which was only acceptable when I was absolutely bored out of my mind. As I went to circle over the guide again, hoping something good had come on since the minute that went by since I passed through them before, I noticed that Eli had an Xbox and I smiled to myself as that meant one thing, Netflix.

Usually, being at a friend's house for the first time, I didn't really feel that I had the right to do anything like walk around or change the channel on the TV or go in their fridge but I had no problem reaching for the game console remote as I crossed my legs on the couch and got comfortable and going onto Netflix and searching through the movies that I alright watched.

"I see that you wasted no time getting acquainted with my house." Eli said, as he walked back in and sat down on the couch next to me.

"Well, Netflix is like my best friend so I had to." I said, but then I realized I watched so many movies so many times that I didn't even know what to choose and I handed him the remote, "You choose."

"Okay, well you don't look like the type to like scary movies," he paused, looking at me for verification. I nodded my head quickly as just the thought of a scary movie made me scared, "Alright, how about Billy Madison? And if you say you don't like that movie, I would have to impolitely kick you out of my house."

"There's no one in the world who doesn't like Billy Madison." I said, and sat back as the movie started.

Once we got about half way through the beginning of the movie, the doorbell rang as the pizza had arrived and Eli went to the door to get it. When he came back, the put the box on the table and I went to open it as slowly as I could. Of course, if I was at home, I would have already had the pizza in my mouth as I sat back on the couch but I didn't want to seem like that, not yet anyways.

As I took a slice, I looked over at Eli, "I can pay you back."

He shook his head, "Not necessary, my mom and dad usually give me money to order food when they aren't here and I usually don't eat most of it so it's fine."

I nodded as I went back to watching the movie and eating the pizza. As I ate my third one, I got full and closed the box as Eli was finished too. While we continued to watch the movie, I kept looking over at Eli briefly, not wanting to seem creepy. I don't know why I paid more attention to him than the movie. I could tell he knew that I kept looking at him because I saw him look at me out the corners of his eyes and smirk. I tried not to seem embarrassed but even in the dark, I was sure if he looked at me, he could see my face screaming, "Hey look I'm embarrassed!"

Nearing the ending of the middle of the movie, I felt my myself drifting asleep. Of course, I tried to knock myself out of it a few times but it still kept coming back and eventually, I gave up. My eyes were shut when I felt something vibrate in my pocket. When I opened my eyes, I was laying, sleeping on Eli's shoulder, who was fully awake.

Knowing it was already my brother, I answered the phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I said, trying not to sound like I was asleep.

"I'm on my way home." My brother said through the line loudly.

"Alright, well then I guess I'm on my way too." I said, as I got up off the couch.

"You're not at home? A social life? Friends?" he gasped, "Am I hearing this correcting or are my ears betraying me already?"

"Oh shut up. I'll be there hopefully the same time as you." I hung up the phone not ready to hear any more of the insults on my nonexistent until 4 hours ago social life.

"So, I have to go." I said, as I stood next to the door waiting for Eli to get the hint.

"Already?" he pouted, "I was so enjoying you drooling on my shoulder."

"I was not drooling!" I exclaimed.

"You were!" he shout back, "You wanna see?"

"There's no use in seeing something that isn't there." I said, as I turned away from him and walked out the front door to his car.

When he both got in, he started up the car and we sat there for a minute. I looked at him without saying anything but of course my expression had given my annoyance at his time taking skill.

"What?" he said, shrugging, "I had to warm it up."

"I'm this close to warming up your face." I said, not realized what multiple meanings it could have implied until after the words had already came out my mouth.

Eli laughed, "Oh please warm up my face. This is a request!"

I wanted to punch him but he was driving and that wouldn't lead to anything except a higher risk of a car accident so instead I decided to save it for later. We drove around about 15 minutes before we had pulled up into my driveway. I looked around for my brother and didn't see him yet.

"Thank you." I said, as I got out of the car.

"For?" he said, pushing it to be funny.

"For not being an asshole tonight up until just now." I said as I closed the door.

"Oh come on," he said, rolling down the window, "You know you love it."

I opened the door, "I forgot something," I said as I kneeled into the passenger seat. As I searched for what I forgot, I remembered and punched Eli as hard as I could in the arm, closing the door behind me and running quickly.

"Don't worry, you'll pay for this Smitchell!" he yelled as he pulled off, "You'll pay!"

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So basically, I kinda love this chapter and I'm hoping you will too! And if you do, you should write stuff down there in that pretty box, and if you don't, you should still write stuff in that box because it's still pretty!


	7. English Partners

Sorry for the late update. It's kinda late for me but hopefully you guys are up, scrolling yay. But um, luckily Spring Break is this week and I definitely need a break from school and I need to sleep and babysitting and it's just be great to get away from school for a while. That also means more writing woop! Also this new font is weird.

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Partners.

It seemed like every time anything seemed just a little bit okay, something was bound to mess it up. School was alright, I had friends, well I had one friend and a few people said hi to me but it was better than normal where I'd still be walking around saying nothing all day. But there was nothing that scared me more than partners, especially when there was only one person I'd favor to be picked with. And with twenty or more students in my class, I had about a 4% chance of getting him.

I shifted in my seat each time Ms. Dawes went down the list of English partners. As she got closer and closer to my name, my heart started racing and my hands turned clammy. I looked around hoping that my partner wouldn't be someone who did nothing or someone who was mean or someone who was as awkward as me. I tried to shut off the feeling that my heart was sinking as she was one named closer to mine.

"Ms. Mitchell," I heard. Sunk, there went my heart. I wanted to run out of the classroom, hoping I'd be luckily enough to come back and everyone would have a partner and I could work alone. But of course, life was never that easy for anyone and I tried to calm myself as I looked up to find out who would be my partner.

"Your partner is," she said, looking at me above the rim of her glasses with a smile, "Mr. Goldsworthy."

I stared at her wide-eyed, thinking I heard something wrong. There was no way that 4% chance was on my side, there was _no way_. I looked around, searching for my real partner to look at me but when I got to Eli, there he was, smirking at me. I couldn't believe it. I never ended up with who I wanted, ever. Throughout all my years of school, when we had school projects, I choose someone in my head that I wanted to be partnered with. It seemed like everyone else was partnered with the person they wanted and if it wasn't who they wanted, it was still someone who they liked. And then I got the person that either hated this project, or ended up talking to another group the entire time and since I didn't want to fail, I did the project myself, or I'd get the person who was as shy as me and we would just sit there in awkward silence, hoping for the other person to say something. But something changed because I got paired with the one person I wanted to be paired with. That 4% chance was mine, I got it.

I sighed a sigh of relief as I didn't have to worry about reliving any of the scenarios that played on repeat every year of school. My was still racing and my hands were still clammy as I was recovering from the sink that my heart took. I calmed down more as Ms. Dawes began talking again.

"These English partners here, _will not_," she paused, I assumed for emphasis on the statements she was about to continue with, "Write your papers. They _will _go over what you've already written to make your writing better. They _will not_ make you feel bad about your writing. They _will_ help you to have more confidence in your writing and in what you put into your writing. They _will not_ distract you from getting your work done causing you to do it at midnight the night before it's due, turning in crappy work. They _will_ encourage you to do your work on time. If I find that any of these rules are broken, which trust me, no matter how much you teenagers think you can get away with, I will find out and there will be different arrangements. And I am saving you the trouble now, I will not change any partners here unless me, myself and I find fit. Do not attempt to sway me later on in the year that you need a new English partner for whatever reason. If I see a reason to change you, I will, without your input."

"Now," she said, putting the list of partners back onto her desk behind her, "For your first assignment I want you to think of a question you've been asked your whole life. Whether you hear it every day or you hear it every year, if you've been asked it many times, use it. Now I want you to write a detailed response to the question, putting in factors of why the question was asked, what the response that everyone gives would be, what the actually response should be, anything like that. But of course, go over the question with your English partner, who I promise you will most likely have a completely different answer than you."

The bell rang at the exact moment she stopped talking as everyone was already packing up to leave. Before we rushed out, she let us know it would be due on Monday of next week and that we were going to present it. As soon as she said present, the excitement I had of this project was flushed down the drain in just a matter of seconds.

"So you have your question?" Eli said, as we walked out.

"Yeah, do you?"

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?" he said, then paused, "And no, that's not the question."

"Does she usually make you present projects?" I asked, completing ignoring his previous statement. Not that I wanted to but my mind was just preoccupied with the thought of standing in front of a class of people who didn't know me, who I didn't know. It wasn't even happening and I was nervous. And the everyone in underwear trick never worked for me, I always just felt like I was invading someone's personal space by imagining them in their underwear.

"If you want to get a good grade, then yeah." Eli's words finally drifted their way back into my mind.

"Well so much for straight As." I said, as a joke but the the laughter drifted as I realized that I really probably wouldn't do well and that wasn't funny.

"You're thinking about it too much." Eli said. Of course he wouldn't understand, he couldn't care less about what anyone thought about him. He could go up to the class with an essay about how Crayola crayons are made and I'd admire it because he was confident enough to even go up there with it.

I could feel him staring at me as we walked, I wanted to turn around but then he'd turn away and I liked it, him staring at me that was. It wasn't that I longed for attention but that I never got it so when it did happen, it was something I wanted to hold on to. I was always the friend that was "forgotten" about or when a plan involving everyone I was friends with was made I was the one that everyone thought someone had told me when it wasn't even brought up in conversation around me.

Those were the worst feelings. Having people around you but feeling as if you suddenly disappeared, no one would really care or remember. Being in a group but feeling like you were in your own group inside. It was lonely but people were around so in actuality there was no reason to be lonely but you couldn't help but feel like you didn't belong or that you weren't wanted. Was it ever the case that I wasn't wanted? I wouldn't know. I wasn't a talker, I was a thinker. I didn't like taking to my friends about emotional things. I didn't want to hear that I was overreacting when I knew I wasn't. I hated talking, I hated trying to explain the thoughts that wrapped around my brain, like tape on a mummy, that sometimes I couldn't even figure out to other people. I had a likable outside, I could make people laugh, I could fake a smile and since I did it so much, it was second nature. I could fake a smile and it would seem real, I would convince myself I was happy until I was left out, until that smile didn't mean a damn thing to anyone. Then there was no use. Why fake it when no one cared?

But then I looked up at Eli and he cared. I thought he cared. He was the only person at Degrassi that didn't put just an effort to be nice to me, but put in an effort to be my friend. It wasn't in the most traditional, "hey we have this in common, let's bond over it!" friendship approach but I liked his approach better anyway. He was there, a friend. Someone I could talk to and someone that I didn't feel alone around. When he was there, I knew that he could see me, I wasn't invisible, I was in fact, the most visible. And when you've felt invisible all your life, finding someone who saw you was when you realized that all those years of transparency were worth being seen in that moment right there.

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Hey like I know you want to review cause I want you to review because I love you and I care about your input so reviews are great for everyone!


	8. Surprise Visit

Alright I give you all permission to hate me. I'm so sorry! Over Spring Break, I thought I wouldn't be doing anything but I went over my sister's house and I actually did a lot and was babysitting so I couldn't really write and that's why I didn't update but I'm sorry! But I'm back so yeah, I hope I'm forgiven!

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"What do you want to eat?" I said aloud to myself.

I was sitting on my bed in my room writing down questions that I'd be able to write a page long essay on. So far, I had questions about food, TV, and the internet which I could write about but of course wouldn't be Ms. Dawes material. I close my eyes and tried to think of my daily routine and what people said to me.

Waking up, getting yelled at for not being up, going to school, constant banter with my brother, walking around school, coming home, doing homework, going back to bed to wake up and do the same thing over again. I kept thinking about how boring my life was but tried to get back to the point of it.

Finally, I got it.

Since I was a person who was quiet most of the time, people always thought something was wrong and that led everyone to ask the same question all the time, "Are you okay?" Of course, sometimes I got tired of hearing the same question all the time. But that question was more than just a simple question most of the time. Sometimes people only asked it so that they could feel content with themselves on their level of compassion, when it only cancelled the action out. If you only asked someone how they were just to feel better about yourself, you didn't really care how they were and your level of compassion only went down since you were doing it for yourself.

As I wrapped my head around the question, I had more and more ideas to write and I found myself getting more and more interesting in the essay. I wrote down a checklist of the topics that I could write about and I wondered how so much stuff could come from one question.

A knock came at my door and before I could say to come in, my brother opened the door and came in.

"There's someone at the door." He said, pushing and pulling my door back and forth.

"Well did you look to see who it is?"

"No, dad told me not to." He shrugged.

"Oh now you want to listen to dad." I said, as I walked past him to go downstairs.

I figured that maybe my dad had a package or something to be delivered so I opened the door but there wasn't a UPS truck insight. Instead there was a black vintage Mustang in the background of the visitor.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, slightly surprised but also not upset at the same time.

"Thanks, I love seeing you too." He smirked.

"Hey Eli!" my brother called as he saw through the doorway as he walked by.

"Sam! Hey, at least somebody in this house is happy to see me." He said, looking at me.

"I didn't say I wasn't happy to see you," I said, then as I saw his smile, retreated back, "I didn't say I was happy to see you either," then as I didn't know where I was going, I just said, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, if I recall, we're English partners and I quote, as an English partner," he cleared his voice and straightened up his back, putting his head up, "I _will not_ distract you from getting your work done causing you to do it at midnight the night before it's due."

"So what you're saying is you want to work on it now? At my house?" I asked. I knew my dad wouldn't be home and that there was no way he would find out unless my brother told him. But my brother seemed to like Eli so I didn't think that would be a problem. But with all the outlets open, I still felt like I was doing something wrong. I tried to make it seem better by telling myself we were going to do work but I knew eventually, we wouldn't be.

"Did me standing outside your house with my backpack give it away or was it my shoes?"

"I'm assuming your sarcasm levels rise as you stand outside so I'm only inviting you in for the sake of me." I said, stepping back and holding open the door as he walked in.

He stopped as he stood directly in front of me and turned to face me, which could be taken literally as his face was right face to face with mine, and he said softly, "Oh come on, Smitchell, you know you couldn't wait to let me in."

I had to close my eyes and regain my breath quickly as he turned around and walked away to the couch. As he jumped on the couch and grabbed the remote, searching through the channels, I closed the door back and walked over to sit next to him on couch.

"Alright, you said you already had your question, so what is it?" I asked, hoping it wouldn't be all great and amazing making mine look like a flower crumbling in the corner for water.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" he said, proudly and frowned as he turned to look at my reaction and didn't get the same excitement he had, "When you were younger, you would have said a teacher or a vet or a doctor but that's only because you thought you could just want that job and have it. But now, most of us don't know what we want to do let alone what we're going to do tomorrow. In actuality, we all what the same thing. We want to be content with life no matter what we do. We're asked that question so we have some sort of plan that we might want to follow. But to be really successful you don't need a plan, just a direction and a destination."

"Well now, my essay looks like complete shit." I said, leaning back on the couch in frustration.

Eli scooted back and next to me so that we were directly next to each other, our arms touching. I'd normally be nervous but my feeling of not being good enough was sinking in and I could care less about the space between us.

"I'm sure it's not bad." I heard him say, for once with no sense of humor in his voice, "What's your question."

"Are you okay?" I said, and turned to look at him to get his reaction, he raised his eyebrows as a silent sign for me to explain, I turned my head back to look up at the ceiling as I continued, "Alright, well no one is ever just okay. You could be more than okay or less than okay but okay alone is basically no feeling at all. I feel nothing at all is what you're saying when you say you're okay. But we're all feeling something all the time. Maybe happy, maybe sad, maybe even content. Normally, if you aren't okay, when someone asks that, it makes you break down. You were good at hiding your feelings until someone saw you and your feelings and suddenly you become vulnerable." I stopped talking as I couldn't even figure out where I was going, "This is so stupid, it doesn't make sense at all. It only makes sense in my head but I'm sure it sounds all over the place to you and it will to everyone."

"Do you not realize that's what Dawes wants?" Eli asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked, turning to look at him, then regretted in when we were once again a mere centimeter away from each other.

"I mean, Dawes wants your essays to make sense to you and be a challenge to everyone else. That's what makes a good writer. You give the basics to the audience, what they need to know, and they figure out the rest. The more it's all over the place, the better." He said, looking me in the eyes, "That's why she put us together. You're an organized folder, everything in the right place, no folds, no mess, nothing out of place. I'm all over the place, papers falling everywhere, rips, messes and nothing belonging anywhere. We balance each other out."

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From here, it's going to get more exciting I promise, I have a lot of ideas and akshjkdshjs just bare with me okay! Okay, don't forget to review! (you can yell at me for not updating too, it's okay)


	9. Pre Party

So did anyone watch the last episode? I'm so sad because in the next episode, all the seniors are gonna be gone and I grew a very strong bond with those characters especially Eli :(((( plus there's gonna be new cast members which I assume will be good but idk if any will be as good as the seniors that graduated before these ones (Sav, Holly J, Anya, etc.) and the current seniors. I'm gonna miss them so much :((( But on a good note, let's get to the story I finally updated!

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It was Friday and Friday always meant one thing.

An endless night of internet and Netflix without having to wake up early the next day.

I was at my locker quickly packing up my things to take home for the weekend if I decided that doing homework what something I wanted to do. I double checked my books to make sure I didn't forget anything. When I was finished, I zipped up my backpack and as I was about to stand up to close my locker, a sudden movement closed it before I could and I screamed and jumped as my nerves shook when the locker slammed, scaring me.

Everyone in the hallway turned to look at me weirdly and I tried to hide my embarrassment as I put my jacket on. I looked down at my locker, somehow convincing myself that if I did that I'd slowly become invisible and no one would see me, until I felt the stares slowly turn away. I turned to Eli angrily, who I should have already known was the culprit of the slamming locker, who was smiling smugly at the obvious pain I was going through. He couldn't help but not contain his laughter as I got angrier.

"I didn't remind you of your assholeness today, did I?" I said, putting on my backpack and turning to face him with a glare.

"You didn't but I have something to make up for it anyways." He said, smiling. Of course I had no clue what it was and I stood there waiting for him to tell me but I guess he needed a response from me first.

"Oh please, Eli, tell me before my head explodes of curiosity. Please bless your knowledge upon me." I put my hands together and pouted in what could have been a cute way if it wasn't for my face or awkwardness. But despite that, he still gave me the secret.

"We're going to a party," he said, "Tonight."

"_We_?" I asked, trying to hold back the sarcastic laugh that was waiting at the back of my throat for a surprise appearance, "The way 'we' is set up means two of us. You might be going to a party but the only party I'm going to is a season of The Office."

"Oh come on!" he said rolling his eyes and staring at me like I was pathetic for not wanting to go to a party, "It's just a party. You have to go."

All the lectures in middle school about peer pressure seemed redundant to me at the time considering even though some of my friends did, no one ever invited me to drink or smoke which was good because I probably would have went just to fit in. That was one of the worst traits, always wanting to fit in and feel like I belonged somewhere. And here I was, indirectly being peer pressured. I knew I didn't want to go and I shouldn't go without my dad knowing but Eli was looking at me like I had to go. I tried to fight the urge to want to make Eli happy and not seem like a pathetic loser who didn't go to a party to instead sit at home watching Netflix. I tried to think of an excuse not to go because I'd rather be alone at my house then be the loner at a party which was basically social suicide, especially for the new girl who sits at her locker at lunch.

"I have to work on my essay," I said, hoping he wouldn't push it any further but low and behold, he knew exactly how to twist my arm in the right way to get me to say yes.

"You have all weekend to work it," he said, looking at me with a face that practically screamed 'stop fighting it', "Plus, studies show if you become uninterested in your studies, when you work on it, it won't be as good as if you were interested. So, you should take a break, have some fun and come back to your essay with a new mind and perspective and you'll do better."

"And what study proved that going to a Friday night teenage party makes essays any better?"

"The Goldsworthy report. Of course, you probably haven't heard of it because it's really exclusive but the articles are phenomenal, you should check it out."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm pretty sure I got locked into a year subscription without my knowing."

"It'll pay off, don't worry." He said, "Now back to that party. You're going."

"Fine." I sighed, quitting while I was ahead as I realized that if I did continue this argument, I'd just end up losing in the end so there was no use, "But if you leave me alone during the party I swear I'll kill you in your sleep."

"Oh don't worry. Even if I did you leave you alone, you wouldn't be bored." He smirked mysteriously. I didn't know what I would be getting into at this party and in all honesty, I didn't want to know either.

* * *

I stood in front of my messy closet filled with clothes that were thrown, shoes that were mismatched and hangers barely hanging on to the racks. I had destroyed any type of order in my room trying to find something to wear. I had no clue what to wear to a party, considering the last party I went to was an 8th grade graduation and I still questioned my fashion choices from middle school. I tried to think of an outfit that wasn't dressy but wasn't school wear. I couldn't believe I was putting so much thought into a party outfit that I didn't even want to go to.

Finally as I couldn't find anything that I was hoping for, I decided on my go to outfit for everything. An oversized black sweatshirt, pastel tie-dye colored leggings and my white Doc Martens, which were new but I figured it would be alright to wear my new shoes to go to a party considering parties were foreign territories. I left my hair the way it was, which was basically just naturally wavy and grabbed my black cross body bag and put my phone in it along with my iPod, just in case the music being played wasn't good. One thing I couldn't deal with was bad music.

I stared at myself in the mirror hoping that the longer I stood there, I'd be okay with what I saw. I tilted my head to the side, back and forth, turned to side to try and make myself look thinner, which convinced me for a little unless I turned back forward. I did it every time I looked in the mirror. I wasn't okay with myself but I wanted to be and I thought the harder I pushed it on myself to be okay, it easier it would get but it never did. Before I completely gave up on even going out the house, I walked away from the mirror and down the steps to wait for Eli, who would be driving to the party.

Sitting down on the couch in the living room, I tried to calm my nerves as I was getting nervous. I always got nervous going to any type of event where there would be people. I didn't like people staring at me or paying attention to me. I enjoyed sitting on the sidelines where a few people would walk by and notice me but I didn't like being center field, all eyes on me, everyone waiting for me to make a mistake.

Finally, as my brain started to yell at itself, a car outside my house beeped the horn and I looked to see that it was Eli. I walked out hoping it wouldn't be as bad as I expected but knowing it most likely was going to be.

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Alright next chapter will be more exciting than this I promise because this was just the lead up. But still review! :)


	10. Party Way Too Hardy

I'm sorry this update took so long but it was for good reason! This chapter is relatively long compared to the other ones and I plan on making them like this because it's more story and of course, that's what you guys want right? So yeah. Also, in this chapter, there's a new friendship hehehe okay that hehehe made it sound stupid but just read because you won't regret it ((hopefully?))

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I knew parties had changed since I was in eighth grade but I had no clue this was what it all the line dances and pizza lead up to.

I followed, closely I might add, behind Eli into a house that was overfilled with teenagers with a background of Around the World by Daft Punk playing louder than I've ever heard with the bass turned up to a point where the tables were vibrating. I walked through, examining my new environment. I tried to hide my surprise for the stuff I saw considering, these kids did this stuff almost every Friday night. I knew that teenagers drank and did drugs, it was inevitable that some of us would experiment with it. But sitting there on the table was a huge bowl that used to be used for candy at parties that every kid tried to get the most of, except there was no pixie sticks or Smarties, there were drugs. Piles and piles of what I assumed were prescription drugs. I couldn't understand how none of them were worried about overdosing as they grabbed handfuls and chugged them down with wine coolers.

As I kept going through I saw couches filled with couples, practically eating each other's faces off as if they were trying to compete with each other. I didn't understand why they wanted to show to everyone how much spit they could swap, literally in some cases as you could see the spit transferring from one mouth to the other which wasn't the most wonderful thing to see. Scratch that, it was one of the most disgusting things I've seen.

I kept walking behind Eli when he stopped abruptly and turned around to me with a bottle of green apple Smirnoff Ice and handed it to me.

"I assume you've never drank alcohol before." He said just loud enough over the speakers so that I could make out what he was saying but had to infer the rest, making me feel like the little kid in this entire party, "So that doesn't have _that much _alcohol content."

I wanted to give it back to him but I already was the senior who never drank before so I walked over to a table and grabbed a bottle opener and popped the top off. When I turned back around to find Eli, he was gone. Of course, he was probably in the midst of the crowd but I couldn't find him. Instead of attempting to go and find him, I stood there, as I took my first real taste of alcohol. It burned my throat slightly at first but went away fairly quickly, I assumed because of the less alcohol that was actually in it.

Trying to not seem as antisocial as I always was, I walked into the crowd of people, hoping that wouldn't be as scary inside as it was observing from the outside. I couldn't have been any more wrong. As I walked in, I couldn't find a way out and everywhere I turned, there was another person moving quickly, spilling alcohol over their cups or smoking what I only assumed was weed but come have been anything for all I knew.

Finally, I attempted to push through the crowd as claustrophobia started to overwhelm me. But right when I got to the border of people, someone wrapped their hand around my wrist, pulling me back into the depths of darkness. As if it was hoping for the exact moment, the lights started to go dark with strobes of colored light spreading through the crowd, not helping me at all. My heartbeat started accelerating as the stranger pulled me closer. I closed my eyes as they pulled me as close to them as was possible. But as I inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm myself down as I was expecting the worst, the smell of burnt vanilla and mint calmed me down on its own.

"Eli?" I asked, still not sure as I knew that anyone could have that smell if they really wanted to.

"If you're mad at me because I left you alone, I could make up for it," he said, putting his mouth to my ear, sending the same chills up my spine that I always had when I could feel his words move across my skin.

I wanted to say something about how I could practically smell every drink he devoured in the last hour as they all contained alcohol but I was losing my ability to talk and think straight as his lips moved from hovering over my ear in speech to touching my neck in small kisses. I wanted to push him away as I was losing the feeling to use any of my senses but he still had his hands around my wrists, controlling yet another part of me. Then he moved my arms from my sides and lifted them up to put on his shoulders and wrap around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer to where our bodies were touching. He kept kissing my neck and as I much as I wanted to stand there and let him, I knew that I couldn't do this.

I couldn't let Eli's drunk affection make me feel good. He wasn't Eli. In body, he was still the same Eli but his mind was being controlled by liquid confidence. Eli wasn't kissing my neck, the alcohol in his bottle was. I was enjoying something that was merely a thing that he would forget it even happened in the morning while I would try to pretend that he knew. This was all a memory to Eli as it was happening. He wouldn't remember it, he wouldn't even know it happened. And I was here, enjoying it but I couldn't anymore.

I pulled his arms from my waist and pushed him from me. A green strobe light came across right in time for me to see Eli's face shocked and confused.

"Why'd we stop so early?" he asked, moving closer to me to start again.

I pushed him back again to an arm's length distance and I yelled, "Because you're drunk Eli! You won't remember this in the morning, it'll be nothing!"

"Isn't that the point? Do things you couldn't do sober so that you won't have to remember it tomorrow?" he asked.

I stared at him blankly trying to think if I heard him correctly. He was kissing me because he couldn't do it sober and didn't want to remember it. I bit my lip as I tried to stop the tears from falling even though no one would see them anyway and even if they did, I would be the girl crying at a party so why would they care. I couldn't think of anything to say to Eli that would even amount to what was racing around in my head. Instead of standing there which would only make me more upset, I pushed myself through the crowd, relentless to get away from Eli and try to forget what happened.

'You won't have to remember it tomorrow', the thought kept running through my head. I didn't want to remember it now, I wanted to forget everything about this night. I went to the kitchen and instead of getting the bottle that did nothing except burn my throat, I went for the bottle of vodka sitting on the table. I never had it before but I heard that it was strong and the stronger it was, the more I'd be able to wake up tomorrow with a huge headache but a clear mind. I poured the bottle until the liquid reached the top line of my cup.

As I drank it down, my throat started to burn. When the burning was too much, I stopped and just stood there. I felt like my body was getting warm as it kept going down. I looked into my cup to see that half of it was still remaining. Trying to escape Eli running through my mind as fast as I could, I started to drink the other half but as I swallowed the burning was unbearable. I leaned on the table, as tears started to form in my eyes as I started thinking about how I could do nothing right, not even drink a full cup of alcohol.

"Hey." I heard someone say. My mind wasn't thinking straightly so I couldn't tell if it was Eli or not but I hoped and prayed that it wasn't.

I turned for a second and wiped my eyes so that it wouldn't be visible that I was teary eyed. I opened my eyes and turned my head back to see that Eli wasn't standing there, but instead there was a boy with sandy brown hair and soft brown eyes. He had on a red hoodie that his hands clutched tightly onto. He looked a few years younger than me and he stared at me, probably waiting for a response as I was just staring at him.

"Hi."

"Are you okay?" he questioned, walking slowly over to me.

"Is it that obvious?" I replied, looking back down at the table, "Parties suck."

Soon, he was right next to me, looking at me, "I agree. I don't even know most of these people."

I smiled as I found someone relatively similar to me, "Me either. I guess we're pretty much alike."

"I guess so." He smiled back and held out his hand, "I'm Cam."

I looked down at his hand with the intention of shaking it but as I held out my hand to take his, in my mind, his hand was moving back and forth. I tried to catch it with mine but whenever I was close enough and tried to grab it, it moved again. When, I suppose he saw my trouble, he held my hand for me and shook it.

"You're pretty wrecked, huh?" he asked, "Wrecked is used for being drunk, right?"

I laughed at the fact that I didn't know either, "I think so."

He started to laugh as well and with me being under the influence, somehow it was even funnier to me and that made him laugh too. So long story, not really long story, short, we just stood in the kitchen laughing for about five minutes for no reason really at all.

When we finally got finished our laughing frenzy, he looked at me and asked, "So why are you getting so drunk for your first time drinking?"

I paused. I had just met this kid, I didn't know if I really wanted to tell him about it or not. But as I looked at him, it looked like all he really wanted to do was help and I was in need of help so there was no legitimate reason for me not to tell him. Plus, I needed more than just Eli as a friend, especially at this moment when I probably wasn't even a thought in Eli's head.

So we sat down and I told him. I let it all out, about how I really didn't want to come to this party in the first place but I'm so easily impressionable that I did. How I was in a way rejected but it was worse than being directly rejected. As I was talking, I felt like I sounded ridiculous, complaining about things that I had no control over anymore but Cam didn't seem to mind. He paid attention and actually cared about how I was feeling and what I was saying. Either that or he was just a really good actor. I hoped it wasn't the latter as I was telling things to him that only I knew and was really close to me.

As I finished, he just stared at me and said, "I think we'll be good friends. We go through a lot of the same things and feelings. We could help each other out. Like Batman and Robin. But you'll be Batman because I'm more of a Robin."

"Nope," I shook my head and laughed, "Just because you chose the sidekick, you're going to be Batman."

"But I'm not Batman!" he exclaimed.

And for some reason that was the funniest thing to both of us and we just laughed and laughed until there was a presence behind us. You know, when someone walks into a room and you can just feel that they're there, watching. That's what I felt. I turned around to see Eli standing there.

He looked horrible, but that's what you could expect for being drunk off your ass. His hair was plastered onto his forehead with sweat and his eyes were visibly red even from the few feet away from him I was. His eyes kept closing and opening as he was falling asleep right there but woke himself up just to fall back asleep. As his balance was becoming off, he leaned onto the doorway and stared at us.

"Sorry for interrupting but it's probably time to go."

I wanted to say that time to go was hours ago but he already looked a mess and no matter how upset at him I was, I didn't want to bring anymore nonsense upon him.

As Eli walked out, I stood up and turned back to Cam, who was staring at me with raised eyebrows at what I would have to deal with. I held in a laugh and said, "Well, I have some saving to do so I'll see you later, Batman."

"Alright Robin, be careful." he said, waving at me as I walked out behind Eli, who had the eyes to his car in his hand.

When we got outside, I grabbed the keys from his hand. Neither of us was legally able to drive but I was less drunk than him and I was able to walk in a straight-ish line which counted for something considering we did have to get home, drunk or not. He turned around and looked at me angrily, "First, you reject me then you take the keys to my car."

"I didn't reject you," I said, under my breath not trying to make anything worse than it was, but still not being able to fight the urge to say something back, "I just rather someone want to remember when they kiss me."

"Hey I heard that!" he said, stumbling into the passenger's seat.

I knew for a fact that he didn't hear what I said, he just heard me mumble but wanted me to think that he knew. I got into the driver's seat and started the car. I had my driver's license but I didn't have a car. I figured it was too much responsibility and I hated anything that had to do with gas money. But I was thankful that I knew how to drive or else me and Eli Drunksworthy over here would have been shit out of luck.

I looked into the rearview mirror for any cars, which I was positive there wouldn't have been because it was about two in the morning on a Friday night but I made sure just in case. I pulled out slowly and drove on the way to Eli's house. I changed the station from his classic rock that was pulsing a hole in my brain to an Indie station that was playing Two Door Cinema Club, which happened to be one of my favorite bands. As I was driving, I swerved a lot of times as cars looking farther and closer than they actually were, but I tried to focus and finally made it with no accidents or police pullovers, which was just luck, really.

When we pulled up to his house, Eli was staring at me with his head limp and cocked to the side. I turned to look at him and he smiled drunkenly, "You're so beautiful."

"And you're so drunk." I said, trying to make myself believe that he wasn't serious and he didn't think I was.

"I'm serious," he said, pointing at me, "You're really, really beautiful and don't let anyone tell you any different."

I shook my head as I got out of the car and went over to his side to help him out of the car. As he wrapped one arm around my neck and balanced the left side of his body on his own, he lifted himself out the car and closed the door with his foot. I locked it and we started walking towards his house.

"The key is the blue one." He slurred.

I looked through the keys and lifted the blue one and stuck it in the keyhole, turning the lock and opening the door. As we walked in, I closed and locked the door behind us and put the keys on the table. We walked upstairs, which took about five minutes as I tried to pull both our weights up at the same time without either of us falling. Finally, when we got up there, I found the door to his room which of course was the one with the big "Keep Out" sign on it.

I opened the door and he laid down on the bed, grabbing one of the pillows and pulling it underneath his head. He snuggled closely to it and then looked up at me as I was standing up and just watching him.

"Aren't you going to stay here?" he asked.

"Well, I have to, I can't take your car home. Plus, I drank. I only drove us home because you're way more wasted than me."

He stared at me like he was comprehending what I was saying but then blinked a few times and shook his head, giving up, "Well then lay down, you're not one of those people who sleep and stand up right?"

I looked at the bed questionably. I didn't want Eli to wake up, wondering what I was doing in his bed but I figured I was just over exaggerating. Plus, there was nowhere else I would be sleeping instead, so I just laid down next to Eli. When I did, he let go of his pillow and laid his head on my stomach like Sam does when he has a bad nightmare in the middle of the night. At first, I was surprised but I just let him lie there because after all, he wasn't in his right mind.

As if he felt my curiousity, he looked up at me, which made him look like a helpless little kid and asked, "Is this okay?"

"It's fine," I said, and he put his head back down. As much as I wanted to deny it after tonight's events, I couldn't help but enjoy being in his company, just lying there, doing nothing but falling asleep. Of course, in the morning, we'd both wake up feeling like we just walked out of hell which was a good explanation for tonight but right now, it was the opposite, and I tried to push the hatred I had for tonight just enough so that I could appreciate just being in his company.

* * *

This chapter was kinda hard to write because I don't go to parties that much so I don't really know what teenagers actually do at parties but I tried to get it as right as I could and hopefully I did the party scene justice? And I know the chapter name is off from the two word names but I couldn't think of anything! Anyways, review and tell me what you think because I want to know what you think because you're really, really beautiful and don't let anyone tell you any different. ((wow i'm so corny i used my own line but i think i should get a review for creativity of using my own stuff hahaHAHAH))


	11. Hangovers Do Suck

You guys totally have the right to hate me. I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. Last week was really busy and so was the weekend. I had to get all my stuff for Sophhop and it was fun but I didn't have the time to write but I did a little by little and here we have it! But yeah, having a life is really overrated, I like being on the internet all the time more.

* * *

I slowly opened my eyes to the glare of the sun hitting the ceiling. I looked around, forgetting that I wasn't in my bed but was in Eli's after all the black became visible to me. I looked over, expecting to see Eli lying there asleep but there was nothing but an empty space and the thrown black comforter there. As I sat up, wondering where he went, my questions were answered when I heard gagging sounds coming from the bathroom which was next to his room.

I threw the blanket off me, expecting to see my pajamas like I did every Saturday but with shame, I saw my same outfit from last night, including the Doc Martens still tied on my feet. I jumped off the bed and went into the bathroom to see Eli kneeling over the toilet. Seeing liquid and the food he had from last night fly out his mouth in pieces made me want to puke as much, if not more than he was, but I just tried to hold it because there was no where I would be able to and he was more sick than I was.

Walking over to him, I sat on the side of the tub and put my hand on his back, "Do you need any help?"

He wiped his mouth with a tissue and threw it in the toilet then looked at me, smiling, "Do you know how to make a Bloody Mary?"

I looked at him wondering why he thought I of all people would know how to make whatever a Bloody Mary was, "No, but I could make one if you tell me how to make it."

Eli was way too excited about me making a Bloody Mary. As I stood in front of his counter and he sat behind the counter, waiting to tell me what to do, I could feel him smiling behind me eagerly.

"Alright," I said, spinning around after I put the ice in the cup and had no clue of what to do next.

He smiled widely and brightly, "Alright, get tomato juice, vodka and lemon juice."

"Why are you putting alcohol in a drink to get rid of the effects of alcohol?" I asked, confused as I was pouring the liquids into the cup and watching them mix together as they combined.

"I don't know," he said, "But it helps get rid of this pounding in my head and my constant need to throw up everything I've ever eaten so I'll take it."

I shook my head as I couldn't even imagine getting that drunk. Not being able to remember parts of the night before, throwing up constantly, having a headache that was described as pounding. I never wanted to get that drunk and going to these parties with Eli was close calls to it but seeing Eli this morning was something that would be a constant warning to not.

"Then you have to put a dash of Worcestershire sauce, celery salt, pepper and hot sauce."

I had to fight the urge to throw up as I mixed together these ingredients that weren't necessarily disgusting alone but was an awful pairing. I spun the ice and mixture around until it seemed settled enough and handed it to him. I leaned on the table and watched him as he drank it. As I watched him, I starting thinking more and more about last night. It was spotty, considering I did drink too, but I still remembered Eli kissing my neck and how that didn't work out. Of course, I didn't want to bring up the neck thing because I'm sure he didn't remember it and it would be awkward to try to inform him on how he kinda-sorta kissed me because he couldn't do it sober. So instead of the direct approach, I decided to just try to understand why he even went to parties like these in the first place.

"So," I said, looking at the table, then at him, "I have a question."

He paused mid-sip of his Bloody Mary and moved only his eyes to look at me, "What did I do wrong?"

That would've been the perfect time to bring up last night but I tried to fight the urge to bring it up and just stick to what I wanted to know, "Nothing. I actually have a question that doesn't involve you being in trouble."

He sighed a sigh of relief and went back to his sipping, "Okay good, then shoot."

"Is there a reason that you go to parties like last nights?" I asked. He went to open his mouth to respond but I cut him off just to say one more thing before he went, "And don't say because every teenager does it because in the short amount of time I've known you, I know Eli Goldsworthy is not interested in following what every teenager does."

He chuckled, "You think you know me, huh?"

"I don't." I shook my head, "I honestly don't know a thing about you. But I guess that's one of the reasons I associate with you. I guess the mysterious thing is pretty cool."

"You meant hot." He smirked.

"I meant what I said." I retorted, with a mocking smirk of his.

"You didn't though." He took the last sip of his drink and pushed it to the side, leaning over the table, getting closer to me, looking me directly in the eyes. I wanted to look away but his green eyes had something that I couldn't turn away from, "You see, you don't know me, but I have parts of you memorized. For example, you try to hide your feelings because you're afraid they won't be returned, not only with me, with anything. You try to make it seem like you could give two shits about something because you know there's a slight chance that thing could be taken at any time. But don't you think you should show your feelings before it's too late?"

"I think," I paused, looking down as my breath was shortening with him so close to me that the vanilla scent he so often had wrapped around him seemed to slide into my throat and fill it with the literal breathtaking spell Eli had on me, "you should answer my question."

"Right." He smirked, knowing he got what he wanted and was satisfied enough to sit back down in his seat, with enough distanced for me to breathe, "I think I do it just to let go of steam. The school week is stressful and depending certain situations, sometimes you just need to let go and be free. Parties do that for you."

"I suppose for you." I shrugged, "I think last night will be my first and last party."

"I doubt that." He said, smugly.

"And why do you say that?" I asked, intrigued with what witty and self-righteous comment he'd be able to pull out of his hat next.

"Because despite this face you try to pull like you couldn't care less about me, you do. And considering you stayed here with me all last night up until this exact moment without saying anything about going home, you weren't worried about anything but being here. You cared about me getting home and you cared about me getting over this hangover and you'd be lying to yourself if you said you wouldn't care next weekend when we go to another party."

I just stared at him, blinking my eyes repeatedly. I wanted so badly to disagree and prove him wrong with an argument that was beyond him but he had me locked and I could tell by the smirk on his face that he knew it. He knew that I wouldn't be able to sit at home alone watching Netflix without worrying about him and if he was home alright. He knew that I would rather go to the party just to make sure he was okay than anything else. I hated him for that, for being someone I cared about so much and being able to hold it against me.

"If I could fathom into words how much I wanted to punch you in the face, you'd have a nicely written one thousand word essay filled with every curse word you could imagine and the ones you couldn't."

"Oh I'm so scared." He got up from the chair, putting his hands up in a surrendering fashion, "Please don't punch me, I don't think I could bear the pain!"

Getting sick of his smugness, I got up from my chair as well and chased him as he ran into the living room. He tripped over the rug underneath the table, falling onto the couch. I jumped on top of him, hitting him as quickly and as hard as I could, knowing that any amount of force I used wouldn't have hurt him anyways considering I didn't have a strong hand.

"Alright!" he yelled, "Ow!"

I stopped, thinking I had actually hurt him. I opened my mouth to apologize but was quickly shut up when Eli turned me over on the couch and pinned me to the back, now in control and clearing loving it. I twisted and squirmed, trying to get back at him but he was stronger than I was and any twisting I did to try to get from out of his hold would just be amusing to him.

"So, I guess the win goes to me, again." He smirked, leaning closer to me, "And I think as a victory, I should get…"

I could feel my heart beating almost out of my chest as his lips were inching closer and closer to mine. This would be my first kiss, it was happening, this was it. I tried to push the thoughts that I would be a horrible kisser out of my mind and just enjoy the fact that I was about to cross off one of the high school musts. I was about to have my first kiss with a sarcastic, self-satisfied seventeen year old boy who I couldn't hate no matter how much I wanted to. I closed my eyes, smiling inside that I was one step closer to being a real teenage girl, in terms of things I have and haven't done. I could feel his face just a mere centimeter away from mine, I wanted to pull his face closer, quicker but I knew he was taking his time on purpose for the fact that he had control of my hands and my ability to even think straight.

"Today on our show," Just as his lips brushed mine, the TV had come on. I must have hit the remote when I was trying to get free of his grip. We both had quickly jerked when the suddenly peppy woman came on the TV and there was no way we would be able to continue what was just about to happen.

So, awkwardly, Eli let go of me and slid to sit down next to me. He went to grab the remote and I thought of avoiding eye contact but realized that would have made everything even more awkward, which was sort of impossible but not really at this moment. We looked at each other and awkwardly turned away as Eli scrolled through the channels and I cursed myself out for accidentally turning on the TV which delayed my first kiss, if it would even happen now. I suddenly thought about everything else I could've done to not kick that remote so that Eli and I would probably be kissing at this moment as I was just imagining it. Never had I hated a TV so much.

But then as I thought about it more, to make it seem a little better, I realized if my first kiss didn't happen now, it wasn't meant to happen now. It wasn't meant to happen here, at this time maybe not even meant to happen with Eli, considering we were only friends, that's all we were and that was all I wanted, so I thought. Because if that was all I wanted, I wouldn't have been thinking of more opportunities to kiss him or even questioning our just friendship. Pushing that thought out of my mind for another time, I went back to my first kiss. Whenever it would happen, with whoever it would happen with, it would. Hopefully.

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I'm thinking of making a playlist for this story. I have a few songs in mind and good music so I think I'll do it. Should I? You could answer that question in a review with how much you hate me for not updating in so long and with what you think of this chapter! Yay for multitasking!


	12. Presentation Day

You guys totally have the right to hate me and I'm sorry. For some reason, I suddenly have a life thing and I've been really busy but I'm not giving up on this story so no matter how long the updates take (which I hope won't be as long as this) I'll still update so don't worry.

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I walked out of the office wanting to throw my new schedule away as I suddenly had a language. I tried a language in fourth grade and it only ended up with me having to pee constantly when we had to say can we use the bathroom in French to go and I couldn't. Needless to say, I was ecstatic when a language wasn't a class that was required at my old school. But that all went downhill when I found out that I had to take a language to graduate at Degrassi.

I tried to walk as slow as I could to the French class, sitting down on the benches in the hallways a few times, considering I had to reason to be late and there was no expiration on the lateness. But I still had to get to class eventually so I finally decided it was no use in wasting more time and found my way to French.

As I walked in, I felt like I was a freshman all over again, considering I was in a class with all freshman. They all looked up at me as I handed the teacher my note. I prayed and hoped that she wouldn't try to introduce me to the class like all teachers do but of course, she followed them and did.

"Class," anyone who wasn't looking up at me, joined in unison with the people who were, "This is Summer Mitchell, she'll be joining us for French this year. Say Bonjour to Summer!"

"Bonjour Summer." They all said, mostly all in monotone voices, which I couldn't blame them for. I wouldn't be all excited to say hi to the new kid either.

"You can sit next to Campbell Saunders." She said, pointing at him as if I didn't know him. Even though she wouldn't have known anyway but happily, I walked over to sit next to him.

I sat down eagerly as I finally had a class without someone I knew already. Well, I didn't _know_ know him but I was familiar with him and I'd take that over sitting next to a stranger any day.

"Hey Robin." He whispered, as the teacher turned around to write something on the board.

"You don't understand how happy I am that you're in this class." I whispered back, pulling out a copybook and a pen from my backpack, "Also, I didn't know you were a freshman."

"Well, technically you didn't know what grade I was in so I could've been in any grade but I'm not a freshman, I'm a sophomore. I just have to take a language so I'm here." He shrugged, "And you?"

"Senior. Luckily, never took a language, but as always the luck ran out and now I'm sitting here, in a class which I'm bound to fail." I said, writing down what I could from the board but no comprehending any of what I was writing.

"Well, your luck isn't that bad." He said. I looked at him waiting for the part that wasn't that bad considering this class would probably bring my entire grade down and I had to get into a good college next year or I'd be shunned by my entire family. He finally answered, "Well, I mean, I'm in here. So obviously it isn't as bad as it could be."

"I don't why I didn't think of that!" I said with the best noncomical surprised expression I could pull which had actually turned out comical as Cam had broken into a fit of compressed laughter, which as everyone knows is the hardest laughter because you're trying to hide it.

As always, once Cam laughed, I laughed too. As we were laughing, to me, it didn't sound that loud but as people started turning around to look at us, I realized we probably would have been disqualified if we were on Silent Library. The teacher turned around and looked at us, causing us both of die down on the laughter as fast as we could. To avoid not laughing again, I avoided looking at Cam as a whole.

"Do I already have to move you, Ms. Mitchell?" she asked, causing everyone including the people who weren't looking at us the first time to turn around and stare at me. I could feel my face getting red as the attention was on me.

I shifted in my seat a little then answered, "Nope. I'm fine. Won't happen again."

She gave the eye that every teacher does that basically says 'you better not'. Then she turned back around to continue writing on the board and the class, or rather the audience, turned around with her to copy what she was writing again. I looked over at Cam with wide eyes and we chuckled just slightly enough so that only we heard, then finally started to take notes and listen.

When the bell rang, we both got out of our seats quickly with the rest of the class. As we were walking out, I stopped Cam and said, "Please tell me you're good at French or foreign languages in general."

He smiled and I felt relieved, "I'm not the best but I'm pretty good, I'll be able to help you."

We said bye to each other as we split apart to go to different sides of the school. I walked to my locker to put my new French textbook in my locker and as someone slid up the locker next to me to mine, I had already knew, or hoped I knew, who it was. I looked up and my instinct was right. Eli was standing there, smirking down at me. I thought things would be awkward after the almost kiss that happened but surprisingly, I didn't feel awkward at all.

"So, that essay, of course you're finished right?" he asked, as I stood up.

My eyes went wide as I realized I had forgotten all about the essay that we had to present today. I knew what I wanted to write, I was just so busy doing nothing that I forgot to write it. And her class was next period. I had no time to write it unless I-

I looked at Eli and as he smirked happily as me, it was almost like he hoped I had forgotten about it so that he'd have someone to skip with, which was a very plausible explanation. The amount that I didn't want to skip class was enormous but it was overwhelmed by how I'd feel if I went into Dawes' class and didn't have something to present.

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We sat in the computer lab as I quickly finished typing up my essay as the bell was about to ring in a few minutes. Eli sat next to me spinning around in the chair, looking as bored as anyone could possibly get. I felt frustrated as I kept typing things that I was sure wouldn't make sense to anyone else and even though Eli had said that was what Dawes wanted, that wasn't logical to me. I mean, if I'm writing something, I want the listener to understand the exact point I'm trying to bring across.

Before I could tear myself to shreds in my head to the point where I'd want to erase the whole paper and start again, I printed it out after going over it with spell check. I grabbed the paper from the printer as the bell rang and exited out of the document before grabbing Eli out the chair and pulling him out the class along with me.

"Someone's excited to get to class." Eli said, walking faster to catch up with me.

"Excited, no. Trying to get this crappy essay presentation out the way without the added pressure of being late, yes." I said, walking even faster.

Eli stopped abruptly, grabbing my arm and pulling me back. My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding horribly fast as it always did before presentations in front of people. He looked down at my hands and shook his head.

"You need to calm down." He said, looking me in the eyes as he put his hands on my shoulders, "It's just an essay. It's good. If the rest of them don't believe that, then who gives a shit? They aren't writing for you, you are. If it makes sense to you, then it's good and that's all that matters. If you keep hyping it up, you're just going to exaggerate it more and not know what to say while you're up there. Just take deep breaths, look at the ground occasionally if you feel too much pressure. Or look at me the whole time. Just don't make it a huge deal. It's everyone's first essay this year, no one's is going to be perfect, okay?" He stared at me, refusing to look away until I gave him a response.

I took a deep breath in and sighed out, "Okay."

"You'll be alright, Smitchell, I know you will."

We walked into the class, just a few seconds before the late bell rang. Almost everyone was in class, probably afraid of the same thing as me. The wrath of Ms. Dawes after being late on a presentation day. I sat down, clutching my hands together tightly, making them turn clammy. I wiped them off on my jeans, hoping it'd go away but as more and more people presented and the chance of me having to go up there increased, so did the clamminess in my hands.

"Next," Ms. Dawes said, scanning the room for the next contender. I held my head down, hoping she'd look over me like everyone normally did but the odds weren't in my favor as I felt her stare stop at me, "Ms. Mitchell."

I cursed repeatedly under my breath as I stood up to walk to the front. I wiped my hands on my jeans once more and picked up my paper and walked to the front of the room. I looked down at the scratches on my gray Doc Martens that I never paid attention to before but suddenly was so interesting. Finally, I gained just enough courage to overwhelm my fright and looked up at the class, specifically at Eli who mouthed, "It's good" with a thumbs up for added encouragement.

I took one last deep breath and began with the first line.

"A question I hear every day is 'are you okay?'. People ask you this all the time, most frequently, when they can't read your expression or when that expression is one that isn't happy." I took another deep breath as I could feel myself stuttering as the nerves were becoming more and more noticeable. I wiped my hands on my jeans again and shifted the foot I was leaning more on, then I continued, "But don't you ever wonder why people ask this? Is it because they care or because they want to think they care? If you weren't okay, that wouldn't affect them directly. They'd feel bad, of course, as any decent person would, but they wouldn't not be okay because you weren't okay, so why ask? Maybe it's because they wanted to feel like they did something. You weren't okay so to make myself seem more nicer or more caring, I'll ask if you're okay because you're crying. I could have asked if you wanted to talk or if you needed a friend but no, I only asked if you were okay because that's all I cared about. I didn't care why you were crying or why your head was down because that's more effort for me to _make sure_ you're okay. I just wanted to know if you were okay. Then again, is anyone ever just okay? You could be happy, you could be sad, you could be tired but no one is ever just okay. No one ever has no emotion at all unless they're medicated in some cases. But we all have feelings. Our feelings are based on our ability to hide things from ourselves and lie about things to ourselves. You can say you're happy, but that could only be because you refuse to think about the time you felt like you'd never be happy. You can say you're depressed, but that could only be because you refuse to find good in anything. You can say you're confident, but that could only be because you hid that time you used to stare in the mirror and want to puke because of what you saw. So, are you okay?"

I stared down at my shoes, scared to look up into the sea of unfamiliar faces and expressions that were unknown to me. No one clapped until Ms. Dawes started slowly clapping and the class began to start with her. Finally, thinking I didn't fail I looked up and started to walk back to my seat when Ms. Dawes stopped me.

"Ms. Mitchell, where did your inspiration for this essay come from?"

"I guess when you're quiet and unnoticed, you see things that are unnoticed."

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Okay, so far this story is kinda slow but I promise it will become #swaggy in no time okay? And if you could, review and let me know what you think ok I'm sorry for not updating in a while ily guys.


	13. A Night of Firsts

Yes I know I'm a huge slacker on the updates but the wait was worth it for this chapter! I'm sorry I'm not like a huge updater like all the time but I'm trying to make them long and good and I have homework and school so it's kind of difficult but I only have 28 days left then the summer and I can update sooner yay! But anyways finally a new chapter! :)

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The last bell of eighth period had rung and I was never more excited to get out of school than today. Firstly, it was Friday which was always a reason to be excited but secondly, my dad was finally going to be coming home tonight until Sunday. I wasn't really attached to my dad but he could cook and my brother and I have been living off TV dinners and sandwiches lately due to my lack of the Food Network. Plus, my dad was pretty cool so when he was home, things were cool as well and I knew that my brother definitely needed "bro time" with my dad because unlike him, I wasn't a "bro" or a "dude".

The reason my dad wasn't home a lot and why we had to move was because he was a corporate lawyer. Being a corporate lawyer, he traveled all the time now, most of the time for months on big cases, with the occasional slot to be able to fly home for a weekend or so and holidays. His law firm had moved to Canada hence us all moving to Canada. When we were in New York, he was lower on the job chain, which meant he didn't have to travel and move as much as he did now. I had my own personal suspicions about why he tried to work so hard to get to the point where he worked literally all the time and spent as less time as he could at home. I knew it was to get his mind off of things, that was one of the main reasons workaholics were workaholics, or so Google told me anyway. I tried not to think so much about it because it only ended up making me feel like I was a reminder of the worst times.

As I was walking to my locker to put my textbook away and grab my jacket to leave, I sensed Eli come up behind me as his signature scent filled the air waves around me and he had come into side view.

"So tonight, I have the perfect plan for us," He started. I opened my mouth to tell him that I couldn't do anything tonight with my dad coming home, but he put a finger up for me to listen and I knew I wouldn't get a word in until he was finished anyways so I shut up and let him continue, "And it doesn't involve parties, drugs or social interaction."

"As great as that sounds…" I trailed off. I hated letting people down, no matter if it was in my control or not.

"Anything that starts off with that, usually ends up with, 'I can't.' So, why not? You have a hot date or something? I get it, I'm boring you out already." He said. I looked at him trying not to laugh but he beat me to it by laughing before I could, "Alright, seriously, why not?"

"Because my dad is going to be home which is good because family time, I guess. But if my dad saw you or any guy picking me up, my house would probably end up on fire." I said, joking in one way but completely serious in another.

"Who said he has to see me?" Eli smirked as we approached our lockers, "Sneaking out is one of the best things and I'm positive you've never done it before."

"My dad has a sixth sense when it comes to me, he'll find out." I said, as I opened my locker and put my jacket on.

"Well, I know just how to rewire sixth senses and overcome them. Just trust me, I'll get you out of the house without getting caught and we'll have an awesome night."

I shook my head as I tried to hide the smile of excitement from Eli, "I can't believe I'm actually going with this."

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I sat in my room, hiding my outfit of black leggings with white polka dots, a navy blue oversized cable knit sweater, and my new white high top converses under my house robe. I scrolled through Instagram, looking at pictures of my friends, who I didn't really consider friends anymore since they haven't spoken to me since the day I got on the plane to move, having fun and taking selfies with each other. Getting a little homesick, I locked my phone and threw in on the bed and just as I leaned back, a double tap came at my window. I recognized it as the signal Eli and I had agreed on using and walked over to the window and opened it.

Eli was there, standing on the top of a ladder, looking up at me. I held my hand out and pulled him up into my room. When he was halfway through getting in my room, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Knowing my brother was already in the bed, I knew it was my dad and he always checked on me before he went to sleep. I pulled Eli harshly through the window and made him hide on my side of the bed.

The door opened and I jumped on my bed, pulling the covers over me to hide my shoes and trying to make it seem like I had been sitting there the whole time.

"I'm gonna head to bed now," My dad said, "I need my rest to go out with Sam tomorrow, you okay?"

"Oh the robe," I laughed as I tended to do a lot when I was nervous, "I was just cold."

"Well why don't you close the window?" He asked, about to walk in, "I'll just get it for you."

"No!" I exclaimed, a little too excitedly, and toned my voice down a little, "I got it, no need for you to walk all the way over there."

My dad eyed me suspiciously then shook his head as it would have been too much to try to understand what was happening with me, "Alright then, well goodnight."

"Night dad." I said quickly, hoping he'd get the indirect message to leave. Once he closed the door and I heard his footsteps walk away to his room and I heard his door closed, I let Eli get up.

"You're room is all comfy," he said, jumping on the bed.

"Yeah, well we can see that later," I said, as I took off my robe and let my hair out of the messy bun, "We have to go now."

Eli rolled his eyes at me but I was completely serious. I was already suspicious enough that I'd get caught but I had my brother keep a lookout with a deal that he'd get full control over Netflix the entire weekend. Eli climbed out the window back down the ladder. After I went around my room, turning the lights off and grabbing my phone, I climbed out behind him and closed the window to where there was a crack for me to get back in. I climbed down the ladder and followed him to his car.

"So, where are we going?" I whispered as we got into his car.

"You know your dad can't hear us anymore, you don't have to whisper." Eli said, as he closed the door then looked at me, "Anyway, it's a surprise so close your eyes."

"At 12 midnight, you expect me to close my eyes as you take me to some foreign place?" I asked.

"Basically." He said, "Now close them."

Reluctantly, I closed my eyes and leaned back. If I was going to be blind for a while, I was at least going to be comfortable. I tried to think of any places where Eli might be taking me but nothing came or rang a bell in my mind. I wasn't good with surprises for my sake but for the people trying to surprise me, I was the best to do it. I paid attention to nothing so even if clues about this mystery place were given, I'd have no clue what they were. As we drove, I listened to the sound of the wind blowing through the windows and it scared me as I realized me and Eli were alone at 12 at night, in what I could assume was the pitch black darkness because no light was making its way through my eyelids in blurs. I wanted to look over at Eli and at least feel a bit safer but my eyes were promised to be closed until he told me to open them so I sat there trying to convince myself that nothing would go wrong with tonight.

As I calmed down a little bit, the car had pulled to a stop.

"Can I open my eyes now?" I asked, as I heard Eli open his car door.

"No!" he exclaimed, slamming his door and walking over to mine as he opened my door. He held my hand and helped me out of the car.

Once he got me out the car, he closed the door, locked the locks and put his hands over my eyes, "Just for surprise measures." He said into my ear.

As we walked, I heard a gate open and I felt my heart jump 5 skips and struggle to get back to its normal paces. I tried to calm myself as I knew Eli was right next to me, which really wasn't the best safety net considering he would probably do anything illegal. But putting that aside, I'd more than likely be alright with him plus I snuck out of the house without getting caught so far, I figured I might as well have a good time without worrying.

Eli had stopped, making me stop walking as well.

"Are you ready?" he asked, his hands still covering my vision.

"Obviously, I've been ready since I snuck out my window." I said.

"Alright."

He took his hands off of my eyes and I could but then again couldn't believe where we were. We were standing in front of a pool, one of those huge pools where you went on summer camp trips with lanes and things. The water was a bright blue color from the lights in the pool. The moving water made the walls have reflections of the waves. I just stared at the water for one, because it was really bright and pretty but two, because I wouldn't be able to get in it.

"Your face is half excited and half of something that's holding back full excitement." Eli said, staring at me.

"Well, I don't know, maybe it would be the fact that you bought me to a pool but I don't have a bathing suit." I shrugged, staring at him angrily as I suddenly had the urge to swim more than ever.

"You act like you can't swim without a suit." He said.

"There's no way I'm jumping into that pool in my clothes, especially in this outfit." I shook my head in protest.

"Oh, come on. Take your shoes off and just jump in, we can jump in at the same time." He said, untying his all black converses.

As I thought about it over, I sadly realized that Eli was right. I snuck out of the house and the least I could do was have a good time. You know, maybe I'd get pneumonia from it but at least I'd have a good time.

We both stood at the edge of the pool when we had our shoes off. I looked at Eli and he looked back at me. I counted from 3 to 1 aloud and when I hit one, we jumped up. I closed my eyes and held my breath as I dived into the pool. Once I got under and looked around, I saw Eli nowhere. I swam back to the top to see Eli still standing there at the edge of the pool, dry and untouched by water and staring at me with a face that was attempting to hide a laugh.

"Wow, fuck you so much!" I exclaimed, as I swam over to the edge where he was.

"I had no clue our relationship was moving that fast!" Eli smirked as he bent down to talk to me face to face.

"I also had no clue you were such an asshole," I paused and put a finger to my head for emphasis, "Oh wait, I did know because you let me jump into a pool alone."

"Come on, you know you can't be mad at me for that long." Eli said, moving his face closer to mine.

"Oh watch me." I smiled and as he leaned closer to me, I slowly moved my hand closer to the collar of his shirt. Quickly, I grabbed it before he could realize what I was doing and pulled him into the pool.

He swam up from the water and I tried not to smile as I was victorious in my plan but I couldn't help but laugh as his wet hair was plastered onto his head and he looked somewhat defeated.

"You're _so_ funny!" He exclaimed, swimming over to me and pinning me up against the pool wall.

"You can't blame me for you being so easily swayed," I laughed, "But I'll agree with you, I'm pretty funny."

Eli opened his mouth to say something sarcastic, I suspected but as he stared at me, he closed his mouth slowly and I could feel my heart rate start to hasten as I could start to physically feel his stare. I looked down, afraid to look him in the eye for the fear of a heart lapse. He let go of my arms and put his hands next to each side of my head on the pool, leaning closer to me. My heart rate increased faster than anything I could imagine and it was suddenly difficult to breathe in and out. I finally looked him in the eyes and immediately had the urge to look away but kept them on him as I knew that now it was going to happen. There was no TV to accidentally turn on, no distractions to stop us. It was just us and the water and nothing could stop it from happening except me and my nerves but I wouldn't and I couldn't let my fear stop it. Before I could overthink it and stop myself out of fear, I grabbed his face and quickly kissed him.

My heart rate accelerated even quicker than before as his lips collided with mine. I closed my eyes and held his head closer to mine, trying to hold onto the moment as long as I could. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, as I wrapped mine around his neck almost simultaneously. He tasted like chlorine as I expected I did too but as I kissed him, the way he tasted was the least of my worries. I was having my first kiss and it was as great as everyone bragged that it was. As cliché as it sounded, I felt like butterflies were just sitting around in my stomach all these years and as soon we kissed, they all flew around happily. Maybe it was just my excitement or my mind, but everything in the background of us suddenly disappeared. I didn't think about the fact that I was out without my dad knowing, that at any moment, my dad could open my door and see me not sleeping in bed, that my entire outfit was soaked and my blue hair would eventually turn green from the chlorine. All those thoughts escaped from my mind as I only focused on how Eli's lips pressed perfectly against mine, on how my hands went through Eli's wet hair without me even thinking about it as I held him as close as I could, on how I was pressed against the pool wall so hard that my sweater was ripping slightly from the rough surface but that didn't matter. I could always buy another sweater but I would never get my first kiss back and I was going to make it as memorable as possible.

When I finally couldn't breathe anymore, no matter how hard I tried, and I was trying to hold that kiss as long as possible, I pulled away, still having my arms wrapped around him. I felt my cheeks start to turn red as I looked Eli in the eyes and tried to hide the smile of excitement I had. I looked down hoping that he wouldn't see my blushing, but considering how close to Eli I was, I practically had my head in his shoulder. Eli chuckled, and I knew that he had saw that he had a visible effect on me.

"You're cute," he said, as I was still hiding my face from him in his own shoulder, "You know, in the right light."

Of course I tried to not fight it with a smart remark but I couldn't and ended up removing my head from the safety and his shoulder and looking direction at him, "Oh really?"

I unwrapped my arms from him, putting my hands on his shoulders and pushing him down into the water. I suspected that he gave in a little bit considering he was much stronger than me but nonetheless, I still got him down there somehow. As we played around in the pool basically most of the night, or morning in the literal case, I laughed and had more fun than I ever did in one night than in most of my life. Of course, I'd never tell Eli that.

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So hopefully this is the moment most of you have been waiting for and aakshkjskjs now the story will definitely be more exciting now I promise, I'm even excited thinking about writing it but guys review and tell me how you liked (or disliked, it's okay) this chapter okay! :)


	14. Just A Kiss?

I'm sorry again omg I babysat and then school and then a social life and I tried to update sooner but I couldn't but don't hate me okay bc I love you so you can't hate me okay i'm sorry, here's the chapter you (hopefully) have been waiting for. :)

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"Then we kissed."

Sitting in French, I was telling Cam about my Friday night and as I told him the ending, I tried to hide the smile that was creeping its way onto my face. I had always wanted my first kiss partly so that I would be able to tell my friends about it. At the time they were my friends back home but now I only had one friend I could tell whether he wanted to hear it or not.

"Judging from the way you sped through the entire story to get to that part, I'm assuming it was your first kiss." Cam said, pausing from writing the notes to look at me.

"Is it _that_ obvious?"

Cam stopped writing and looked at me with a surprised face, "Actually, no. I was joking. Are you joking? That couldn't have been your first kiss."

Suddenly I felt like telling anyone about my first kiss at this time was the wrong decision. My first kiss should have been when I was 16 or earlier, the earlier the better nowadays I supposed. Telling someone my first kiss was in my senior year was probably pathetic, almost as pathetic as never having a boyfriend.

"Serious as a heart attack." I said, almost in a whisper as I had wished that I had left that little detail out of the conversation.

I guess Cam had seen my expression as everyone could because I was open book and no matter how much I tried to hide my emotions, they still showed. He said, "I'm not saying it like a bad thing, I just thought you'd have your first kiss by now. Not timing wise but I mean, you're really pretty and you're an awesome person so I figured you'd have that out the way by now. Me on the other hand, it's fully understandable as to why I haven't had a first kiss yet."

I smiled as I wasn't the only one with the dilemma of having a first kiss pretty late. It seemed like 5th graders were having their first kisses with lists to go along with them and I was about to graduate high school and just checked off my first one. It wasn't like with Cam's kind words, I suddenly was confident about the fact that my first kiss was less than 72 hours ago but it made me feel a little better. Part of me still wished I had a first kiss before but I realized that, that kiss being my first made it even more special. That was what a first kiss was about, for me anyway. It was about a special moment that you would be able to share with someone special, whether or not things worked out. Eli and I might not talk after this year, we might be distance memories to each other but I would be able to look back on my first kiss and know that he was special to me and that I wouldn't have wanted a first kiss with anyone else at that time. I wouldn't have to remember it as at a party during seven minutes in heaven with a guy whose name I didn't know in a house where I had never been.

"I'm not gonna say don't feel bad about it because I still feel bad that mine was this late but as a friend, I'm here to tell you that you're awesome and pretty cute too and if I didn't see you in a best friend, little brother, annoying but I can deal with you because you're awesome kind of way, that I'd kiss you. No matter how long it takes, just make sure it's with someone special that you know you care about and it'll be okay." I said, with a reassuring, or what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Someone special, that I care about." Cam repeated with a nod, "Alright, will do. But back to you, so that means you and Eli are kind of a thing now, right?"

I looked down as I could feel my cheeks starting to blush. All weekend since the kiss had happened, that was what was going through my mind. Were Eli and I now together or was the kiss just a kiss? I didn't have the experience of that before so I had no clue if a kiss made two people _official_. I also didn't have the experience of a boyfriend so I had no clue how that worked out either. I had pretty much no experience involving the opposite sex unless it was blatant friendship. But back to Eli, I knew I had feelings for him. I liked him so you could say but we were friends and I didn't know if he felt that way about me so I didn't want to bring that up and make things awkward. So, I hid my feelings in front of him. I didn't talk about how I could stare into his green eyes all day and never get tired of it or how I could kiss him all night and never get tired of it as well or how I had what seemed like electric shock treatments running through my veins anytime he got close to me. I kept all that in, to myself, for the fear of rejection. For the fear that he didn't feel the same way. For the fear that once again, I'd like someone who I wouldn't have a chance with and that I would be alone because I would never find someone who would settle for me. In this case, it was also for the fear that I'd lose one of the best friends I had.

It was pathetic that I clung to Eli as a best friend when I had only known him for a short amount of time but I could be myself around him without having to second guess everything that came out of my mouth. He was one of only two people at this school that I knew, that knew me. I was practically a nobody in literal terms. I wasn't special, nothing stood out about me among the crowd, except maybe my hair and my violin playing but other than that, I wasn't someone people gravitated towards. But he gravitated towards me and I held onto him closely for that fact. But all these feelings, these things I only wished I had the confidence to say aloud, I kept them to myself. Being rejected was my biggest fear and I'd rather have all these thoughts stuck in my head, ripping apart my brain to get out, and have Eli as a friend than say them and be alone because only I felt that way.

Then I realized I was still in a conversation with Cam, who was staring at me, waiting for a response, "Oh, Eli and I? No, just friends. It was only a kiss, nothing major."

"Someone special that you care about? That's someone major." Cam said, with raised eyebrows.

"You're someone special that I care about and we're friends. If I kissed you, we'd go back to being friends, it'd be awkward at first but we're still just friends." I shrugged, trying to make myself believe it as I said every word but even I couldn't convince myself.

"Those are two completely different things and you know it!" Cam exclaimed in a hushed whisper, talking lower than we were just in case his voice got louder as he continued, "You can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me. I see the way Eli and you look at each other. Of course because you're in denial, you can't see it but me being on the outside, I can. That was more than a kiss and both of you know it. You're going to try to make it seem like it wasn't and that's fine but it'll come out sooner or later, even if I have to interfere."

My eyes widened as Cam said interfere, "With what?! Cam, it was really just a kiss, I'll even ask Eli when I see him and knowing him, he'll tell me the truth."

"If he's in denial like you are, he probably won't. You both are afraid because you think the other doesn't feel the same way but I'm 90% positive you both do. Just wait, it'll happen, I know it will."

The bell rang and Cam and I both packed up what seemed like unnecessary notebooks considering we spent the whole class talking about my Friday night and taking about one-fourth of the notes. When we walked out of class, we went our separate ways as we always did and Eli walked up behind me. I always liked how there wasn't an awkward silence between Eli and I no matter how silent the walk was but with the recent kiss and the feelings I so hardly wanted to ignore, I couldn't help but feel awkward.

"So," I said, trying to stop my brain from running its wild course and to stop the awkward silence before it got even more awkward, "How was your weekend?"

"It was pretty boring." Eli said, looking at me, "And yours?"

"Pretty much the same." I shrugged, still feeling the awkwardness. Pushing all the thoughts out of my mind that tried to tell me to stop, I forced myself into asking, "So, that kiss that happened, Friday. It was_ just_ a kiss, right? Like we're still _just_ friends, right?"

Eli looked at me with what was an unreadable expression and that scared me the most because I had nothing to clue me in on what could be the answer. But then he smirked and said, "Of course. Just a kiss, we're still just friends. I'll still pick on you."

"And I'll still retort back with the same level of sarcasm." I smiled, glad that I had gotten the question off my chest.

But even with the question off my chest, I still didn't feel good with his answer. Of course, I wanted to know where we stood as a couple or friendship or whatever _we _were. I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope that he would have professed his love to me by saying the kiss was more than just a kiss and that he liked me as more than friend and that he would do anything to mine, okay maybe not that last part but I would have wanted Eli to feel some way similar to me as to what I felt to him. But then again, I always liked guys out of my league so I didn't know why I put my hopes up that Eli would be different from the rest. He could easily find someone prettier than me, funnier than me, smarter than me, more experienced than me, more outgoing than me, more confident than me, someone just an all-around better person than me. But I'd still be hung up on him.

Trying to push those thoughts to the back of my mind as I could tell they were probably showing through the fake smile I had plastered on my face as I walked with Eli, his voice had come into mind again, "So, what do you think?"

I blinked a couple of times, trying to search my mind hoping that maybe subconsciously I had heard what he said but nothing was popping up, "Think of what?"

"My Halloween costume idea." Eli said, with raised eyebrows.

"I didn't hear it, I'm sorry. Zoned out for a second."

"More than a second. I spent at least two minutes talking about it," he lowered his voice, "And they say we don't listen."

At any other moment in time, I would have thought up a marvelously sarcastic response to Eli's clearly in hearing shot statement but nothing made its way into my brain. I just didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to say it. All this time I was so good at hiding my feelings for Eli from myself but now that I reflected on them and acknowledged them, they were all I could think about. Nothing else took a hold of my brain like those thoughts did, especially since once again, only I thought of the other person in _that way_. I tried to stop thinking about it, I tried to make my brain go back to other things that made me happy like good music or TV or food but somehow my brain refused to let me move on from the feelings I was drowning in.

I snapped out of my self-reflecting when I was stopped in my tracks by force and looked up to see Eli looking at me, almost in a worried way. His hands were on my shoulders and his eyes were staring into mine.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked, seriously with no ounce of sarcasm or joking, "And don't say 'nothing' or 'I'm fine' because a fine Summer would have had tons of comebacks flying back at me by now. And I also wouldn't feel like I'm talking to myself."

I opened my mouth, confident enough to tell Eli what I was thinking but closed it as I realized telling him would only make things worse not better. I searched through my brain to try to find a reasonable excuse, knowing that Eli wouldn't let me go if I didn't tell him what was wrong, or in my case, make up a story about what was wrong.

"I just didn't get enough sleep, I'm pretty tired, that's all." I said, hoping that my story would be somewhat believable and that he couldn't tell I was lying.

He stared at me for a little and I thought that he didn't believe me but then he took his hands off my shoulders and I knew I had gotten away with it.

"Well, just a take a nap in your next class, you'll feel better."

Oh I wished it was that simple.

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I'm sorry if I don't update I just wanna say that but I won't abandon the story so no matter how long it takes, you'll still get chapters okay I'm sorry! Also, wish me luck to get tickets to see Charli XCX bc i really want to and I need wishes so yeah. But more importantly, review the chapter because you definitely want to, you know you do. :)


	15. The Other Side

I hope you guys don't hate me because of the updating suckiness I'm sorry, I have finals this week so i'm trying to study and everything but let's not forget summer coming up and I'll be doing nothing so I can update a lot okay. So please bear with me until then okay? :) Also, this chapter is in Eli's point of view because I wanted you guys to see his thoughts and such and plus, I like writing from different pov's every once in a while so yeah, here we go!

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"Hey dude!"

A voice that was so familiar to me yet had seemed so distant recently called behind me. I stopped as I was on my way to English and turned around to see Adam running up to me.

"Hey." He repeated as he had finally reached me and stopped to take in a breath, "It seems like I haven't seen you in forever."

And of course it did seem that way. I had spent practically every minute with Summer since I met her and I unintentionally put all my friends on the back burner. It wasn't like I planned with spend all my time with her or that planned to not see my friends anymore but the cards just shuffled that way, I suppose. I was so caught up in trying to get closer to Summer that I pulled myself away from my friends and I had suddenly felt pretty bad.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I've just been caught up in some stuff." I said, or lied, if you wanted to be technical. I mean, how would it look if I flat-out said 'Oh sorry, I've just been spending all my time with a girl I just met and accidentally forgot about you, my friend for at least a year, that's cool though right?'

"Caught up?" Adam repeated, looking at me with raised eyebrows and then I knew he already knew about Summer and my lie was already poked with a needle. As I didn't say anything, he initiated the new conversation topic, "So, tell me about her."

I sighed as I always was caught up with my feelings when it came to Summer. Anytime I had gotten so close to someone in a short period of time as I was doing with Summer, it usually ended up with problems, problems that couldn't be solved with a sorry. Plus, she made it clear that her feelings for me were on a friendship only basis and not wanting to ruin that, I had to hide mine. But something about that wasn't right. When we kissed, it wasn't just an accidental kiss and if it started out that way, it didn't end like that. There was something in that kiss, something that friendship alone couldn't bring out in a person. I tried to tell myself I was just overthinking it, that my feelings were overriding the facts of reality but I couldn't convince myself. I couldn't convince myself that while we were in that pool, she didn't once think about me as more than a friend.

Then I realized I was still walking and talking with Adam and tried to sum up my thoughts in a complete, short phase, "Her name's Summer. Her sarcasm amounts up with mine. She has blue hair that matches the color of eyes, that was until the blue turned green from the chlorine. She's from New York and she likes pizza a lot."

"And you like her a lot." Adam said, with a smirk.

"How could you assume that from four sentences?"

"Because you told me things that would be completely irrelevant to me. You didn't just say, 'Oh that's Summer, she's new.' You told me her favorite food, where she's from and my personal favorite, how her hair matches the color of her eyes. You had a reason to talk about her, and you did." Adam said and I completely hated him from reading through my underlying thoughts that I thought I could keep bottled up and stored into storage with a padlock on it.

"Alright, maybe I like her a little." I said, holding up my finger and I saw from the corner of my eye that he was going to push it, "But she doesn't like me so it's dumb to think about it."

"Right, that's because you're on the inside. But I'll tell you from what I've seen, you two are idiots for each other. I see you guys walking through the hallways, laughing and smiling and pretending there's nothing there but it is."

If I had ever blushed, which I don't just to confirm, that would probably have been the first time. It was weird knowing that people could have looked at us and known that we had mutual feelings for each other even though we both avoided the idea of having them. It was weird but informative. It meant that maybe I wasn't completely overthinking the idea that Summer had some type of feeling of me. It meant that my hunch on the kiss was probably completely true and that the something in my head wasn't a figment of my hopeful imagination.

Of course, I wouldn't completely believe this and go confess my love to Summer. I wouldn't kneel down in front of her in class and ask her to be my girlfriend. I had to edge my way into knowing that her feelings were true and the perfect idea to do so had come into my mind.

And it seemed like Adam and I were just connected thoughts today and he took the words that were pacing in my head and spoke them aloud to me, "Why don't you ask her to the Halloween Bash? If you're still iffy about knowing if she actually likes you, ask her as a friend."

"It's crazy because that exact thought had just flew across my mind."

"And shot into my head." Adam said, tapping me on the shoulder and a smirk, "I'm telling you, we're probably brothers separated at birth. Of course, I was the smarter one but we're both great individuals."

"If you say so."

As I just realized that I had a class to get to as we were talking, the late bell rang and I felt my heart tense as I was a hallway away from Dawes' class and I knew what she did to late students. Adam so luckily had lunch and proceeded to walk away to get something to eat as I started to run to her room before the punishment could get any worse as the seconds rolled on.

Finally I got to her room and saw that the door was opened still, a good sign that I could hopefully sneak in. As I poked my head through the doorway, as if faith was on my side this period, Summer has turned around to the door to see me.

She mouthed 'ooh, you're in trouble' with a chuckle.

I mouthed back 'just help me get in without getting caught' in a hurry. As Ms. Dawes had turned back around to face the class, I quickly took my head from sight and hid behind the wall next to the door. When I heard the chalk hitting the board again, I looked to make sure she was writing and looked at Summer. She gestured me to come in quickly. As fast and quiet as I could, I tiptoed in and sat down quickly. I was so convinced that I had gotten away with it until Ms. Dawes had stopped writing in the middle of what would have been a word.

She turned around and looked at me, "Mr. Goldsworthy, you should know I could feel the cold breeze of a tardy any day and you shouldn't get your new, still setting a first impression friends to help you." She said, turning to look at Summer.

Summer's face turned red as I was sure this was probably the first time she had gotten in trouble with a teacher before. She slumped down in her chair as if when she got to a certain point on the desk, she'd disappear from the class and no longer have any attention on her.

"Any excuse to your lateness?" Ms. Dawes said, bringing her blaming glare from Summer to me.

I opened my mouth to respond but then closed it as I realized I didn't have a reason. What could I say? 'Oh, Ms. Dawes, I was just talking to Adam, you know Adam right? Well yeah, I was talking to him about how I like Summer over there but I'm not sure if she likes me. Hey, why don't we just ask her now? Summer, do you like me because I like you?'

Needless to say, I realized that silence was probably not even gold, but platinum in this situation.

"None?" Ms. Dawes said, with a raised eyebrow and a smirk as she was happy with my not being about to justify my whereabouts, "That's what I thought. I didn't think I'd have a detention this early in the year but if anyone could do it, it would be you."

Then she turned back to Summer who glazed at me angrily as she knew what her future would be too, "And Ms. Mitchell, oh how I thought you were different! Nonetheless, you assisted Mr. Goldsworthy in his lateness and you'll assist him with his detention sitting. So, I'll be seeing you both after school today."

When she turned about around, Summer's angry glare got even angrier as she turned around to me and put her middle finger up directly at me, mouthing 'fuck you'. I couldn't help but smirk as her anger was probably one of the most attractive things about her, especially when it was directed at me. She didn't get angry all the time but when she did, her eyes seemed to get a little darker or maybe I just stared at them too much. Her lips trembled slightly, or once again, maybe I just stared at them too much which was quite plausible considering I knew the exact brand of ChapStick she used, which was the original tinted cherry, and that most of the time I was with her, I thought about kissing her so her lips were an obvious point of interest.

But as I once again realized that there was a possibility that she didn't think of me in that way, I tried to erase my thoughts of pinning her to a wall anxiously and kissing her out of my mind, which was quite difficult considering mostly any class I had with her, that was a thought that came into mind. Finally, I looked away from her and focused on what Ms. Dawes was talking about. That way, my mind was distracted from the thoughts of Summer and I learned something.

When the bell rang, I put away my notebook which proudly had its first notes from the year in and zipped up my bag to meet Summer at the door. She looked at me with deep dark ocean eyes and walked away without saying anything. If there was anything that annoyed me more than the silent treatment, oh wait, there wasn't. I followed behind her.

"Alright, you can punish me any other way but please don't do the silent treatment." I pleaded as we walked. Or rather, as she walked and I followed.

She smirked as she could tell it was having the wonderful effect she wanted it to have. She was winning and I was going out of my mind as I was talking to an unresponsive upset teenage girl.

"Come on," I said, getting more and more frustrated as I tried to find something in my mind that would get her to talk. She didn't even have to forgive me, she just had to say something. Deciding that being annoying would be the best way to get her to talk, I repeated her name over and over, dragging it on with each repeat. At first she looked at me like it was getting me nowhere but with each repeat, I could see her annoyance level rising.

"Alright!" she exclaimed, finally going as crazy as I was and I smiled a smirk of victory, "You're an asshole, just for the record."

"Thank you, I've been waiting to hear that all day." I said, as it true. Every day she called me an asshole and to be honest, the day would feel a little off without an insult from her.

"Good, cause you'll be hearing more during detention, I have the whole day to come up with them." She smirked.

And I smiled to myself as I couldn't wait to hear them. Any insult from Summer was basically just a compliment because she said it to me.

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So I hope you guys liked it! If you did, you should review because we're all in this together. If you didn't, you should still review because you're the music in me. I think you should review because I'm embarrassing myself with high school musical quotes :)))


	16. Detention

So idk I think you guys are bored with this story because I haven't gotten any review for like the last two chapters? But I only have a few more days of school and then I can update more so just keep holding on! Here's the next chapter!

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There was no point in doing my nails if I was just going to bite them. I heard my mom's voice scolding me in my head, making me immediately stop. I only heard her voice when there was nothing else I could think about. My mind went to the main thing I didn't want to think about when I had nothing to distract my thoughts with. That's why I hated quiet places or being alone, because I was stuck with facing my own demons alone and most of the time, they won.

I looked over at Eli who was sitting across the room, with his head facing the ceiling as he leaned back. I wanted so badly to throw something at him for getting me into this in the first place but Ms. Dawes was sitting at her desk, watching us both intently, waiting for us to do something to keep us there another day or another hour, whichever was more hurtful in her opinion. So, I went back to the racing thoughts in my mind as I had nothing else to do.

I started to bite my lip as I couldn't think of anything to do, or rather I couldn't think of anything to do to distract myself from overanalyzing life in one sitting. I always bit something when I was nervous. In my defense, I never had gum or anything like that to chew so the next best thing was my skin. Of course it was gross, I knew that, I've heard it all my life. But that didn't stop me from biting my nails until I couldn't pick up anything with them in middle school or biting my lips until they bled. I had gotten better over the years but in times like these when I could only reflect on the thoughts I threw in the DO NOT THINK box in the back of my head, I reverted back to the habits I shouldn't have gotten in the first place.

As I started to taste blood, I forced myself to stop biting my lips as I was sure they looked disgusting. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my stick of cherry ChapStick and applied some on. Actually, I applied more than enough just for extra measure. Once I was finished using half the tube, I put the top back on and stuffed it back into my pocket.

I looked around hoping that I maybe I'd find something to stare at that would make me a little less bored but it was a normal classroom, filled with desks and little drawings by bored students that didn't know what else to do. Being bought to the point of either slamming my head against the desk repeatedly until I blanked out or making a quick escape by jumping out the open three-story window close by, I decided to actually read the "inspirational posters" that lined the walls of the room.

The first one I placed my eyes on read, "Before you speak, T.H.I.N.K." For T, is it true? For H, is it helpful? For I, is it inspiring? For N, is it necessary? For K, is it kind? Those type of posters were the ones I hated the most. There was no way I'd stop myself before saying something and say to myself, "Oh wait, let me see, is this true or helpful? No? Might as well shut up then!" But then I thought about it again and considered it plausible that maybe that one of the problems. Maybe I did need to think about what I say before I said it and maybe I'd have more to say if I did. But before I could start thinking about the way this one poster was affecting my life, I saw out the corner of my eye that Ms. Dawes had gotten up.

"I have to go to the office quickly," she said, as she walked past us, eyeing us with a disapproving look, "Talk and you'll be here longer. I have no life so I can easily take yours away."

I listened out for the clicking of Ms. Dawes heels until it became completely inaudible. Once the clicking was gone and I knew she was out of ear shot, I turned and looked to Eli and became more upset as I saw him smirking at me as he leaned across the desks.

"Having fun?" he joked.

"Yes because spending an afternoon in a room with _you_ instead of at home because I helped _you_ sneak into class when _you_ were late is all the fun I could ever imagine and more! Please note that I emphasized the word 'you'." I said, turning back around to look out the window, hoping that maybe time would speed itself up if watched each cloud separate and slowly move on their own.

I heard desks moving and then a settling in the seat next to me. Just as I was about to turn around, I felt Eli shift closer to me, putting his head right next to mine, I could almost feel his stare, "All right," he said, as his cool breath sent a chill along the surface of my skin on my neck as it always did when he got into Ice Breakers territory, "I'll make this up to you."

I stared ahead, not setting myself up for failure because I knew if I turned around to look at him, he'd win any argument being so close, "And how exactly will you do that?"

"The Halloween Bash."

I stopped and my eyes widened just a bit. The Halloween Bash, I had heard about it over the loud-speaker during homeroom that morning. Half my mind was focused on listening to music but there wasn't really much I had to listen to. It was a dance, a high school dance, with costumes and food. Of course, I wanted to go, dances and costumes were my favorite, but I figured of the two people I really knew, neither of them would go. There was no use in planning to go just to stand on the side next to the punch table and watch everyone having a great time while I filled up my cup for the 6th time. But here I was, now being indirectly asked to go by the exact person I thought would have nothing to do with anything involving the word 'bash'. Unless it was a mosh pit bash or something. Did they bash in mosh pits? Or mosh at bashes? I forced my brain to get back and focus on the topic sitting next to me.

"What about it?" I asked, smirking internally as I decided it would only be fair to milk it.

"Oh come on," Eli sighed and I could practically hear his eyes rolling as he continued. He put his head on my shoulder, his nose brushing against my jawline as he said every word, "Fine. Dearest Summer Mitchell, in return of you having to take precious time away from Netflix to spend an afternoon of torture and silence with me, being the good friend I am, I will go to the Halloween Bash with you because I know that's probably something you want to do and not alone. And as a bonus, I will try not to bash my brains out as a result of the stupidity that I will encounter on that night."

As I was just about to laugh and answer, Ms. Dawes voice had been brought upon us, "Considering how well put that was, I'll pretend I didn't hear it. I'll also pretend that you never got out your seat, Mr. Goldsworthy and that nothing changed since I was sitting in that exact seat up there and you two were bored out of your minds."

We went back to our routine quickly. Eli was back in his first seat, looking at the ceiling. Ms. Dawes was back at her desk, grading papers and glancing up occasionally to look at us and I was staring at the window watching the clouds once again, trying to make the time go by fast. I looked over at Eli, who just so happened to look at me at the same time. He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and quickly scribbled something down, holding it up to me when he was finished.

'You never answered' it read.

I skimmed through my bag and found a loose piece of paper crumbled at the bottom of it. I pulled it out along with a pen from the front of my backpack and unfolded it and scribbled down an answer.

'Dearest Eli Goldsworthy idk' it read at first.

Of course I had to milk it just a bit longer even though he was probably already positive on what I was going to say. I scratched out idk and wrote yes, holding it up again. He smiled and put up a thumbs up.

Little did he know inside that yes was a million little yes' that couldn't wait until Friday night.

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So hey guys please review and tell me what you think! I know this chapter was a little boring but it's only gonna be more exciting after this okay please review down there pleeeaassee! Love you guys! :)


	17. Dance Night

DON'T HATE ME I LOVE YOU OKAY! I'M SORRY I'M A BAD PERSON BUT SUMMER'S HERE SO I CAN UPDATE MORE I TOTALLY PROMISE OKAY DON'T HATE ME PLS! HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER OKAY I'M SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A BAD UPDATER BUT CHAPTER OKAY YAY!

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It was Friday.

The Friday I had waited for all week and now I dreaded it. I stood in front of my costume, wrapped in my towel as I had just got out of the shower and stared at it wondering if it would look stupid. I decided on being Charli XCX for Halloween. I was almost positive no one had known of her and that was good so that I wouldn't have to nervously and angrily glare at someone who had the same costume the entire night. Plus, the costume was basically just clothes I already.

Realizing that there was no time to reconsider another outfit or costume and that even if I did look stupid it was Halloween and it would be acceptable, I started to get dressed. The outfit consisted of a pleated plaid skirt that came down to my mid-thigh, which would be inappropriate to my dad but luckily he wasn't here to criticize, a long-sleeved baseball tee crop top that had the word slime written across it in actual slime lettering and a pair of black platform sneakers that I was sure I wouldn't wear again after tonight.

I let my hair air dry and get really naturally curly and messy because that was what she did. I ran through some strands with some color chalk in blue and green and curled some strands to contrast with the messiness that was my natural hair. For my makeup, I put thick eyeliner on the top of my eyelids and underneath, I started out in the middle really thin and got thicker as I went to the corner to connect with the top line with a wing at the corner. I put some mascara on and replaced my regular boring cherry ChapStick that only gave me a tint of red with a dark red lipstick.

I stepped back for the mirror and looked at myself. I turned different angles and tried to make sure I looked pretty similar to her or as I close as I could get. When I looked at the clock, I realized that even if I wanted to fix something I literally had no time. I grabbed my small black leather studded crossbody bag and put my phone, lipstick, my ticket and keys in it and ran out of my room, turning the lights off and making sure the windows and doors were closed as I went past each room. I locked the front door and closed it, hoping I didn't forget anything.

I put one earphone in and played Arctic Monkeys as I walked to school. Of course, I had the option of Eli driving me but I wanted my costume to be a surprise, not that it was much of a big deal but I just wanted him to see it there at the dance for the first time. Nonetheless, as I walked, I wished that I had took up Eli's offer to take me. It was scary walking in the dark, even if Alex Turner's voice was there to keep me company just a little.

The dark was basically the unknown. As you walked, anything could pop out from the shadows and that was what scared me the most. You had nothing to prepare you for it or save you from it. You had no forewarning or disclaimer to warn you about the dangers that lurked in the darkness. You just had to hope that you would be okay and that you could reach your phone quickly enough to get help.

As I slowly distanced myself little by little from the thoughts of the creatures in the dark, I realized that subconsciously I had started walking faster and somehow ended up down the street from Degrassi. Before I could get caught by an unknown creature that was probably being created in my mind, I started running down the street I was on. I almost fell multiple time trying to run with platforms on but I had made it to the corner at the end of the street and stopped. Right there was where I would be visible to the anyone walking into school, so I got my breath back, wrapped my earphones around my phone as I put it back into my bag and continued the rest of my walk from that corner to the front door of Degrassi as I had been cool, calm and collected the whole way there.

As I got closer to the front steps, the music from inside started to make its way into earshot. I walked in and gave the person I had seen around school a couple of times my ticket and got the permission to go. The hallway that lead to the auditorium was the only one that was decorated. The lights were off except for two lights at the end of the hallway, one orange and one light that were probably only there to help lead the way. The lockers had cottony webs spread across them and different miscellaneous Halloween symbol stickers. I walked past the bad decorations and opened the door of the auditorium to a room that looked decorated by a complete inverse of the decorators of the hallway.

There were strobe lights of white flashing all around the dimly lit room that had a filter of orange that I couldn't tell where it was coming from. There was decorations all over the walls. A table had food and drinks and a punch bowl that looked like smoke was coming from it. People walked around in costumes, pouring what could only be alcohol from their mini bottles into their punch cups and cheering with partnering costumed drinkers. I tried to find any of the two people that I knew before I walked into the crowd of people that were dancing to the various tune played by the DJ in the front of the auditorium.

As I walked around looking for Cam or Eli, I had no choice but to scan over the costumes that had paraded the dance. The typical mummy, vampire and pirate that I had seen every year was displayed about 5 times by different people but what stunned me or rather took away my confidence was most of the girls costumes. Of course, I knew that Halloween was the day when girls cut half their clothes up and put them on and called it a costume. I myself though, was never confident enough to walk out of the house with a leotard that had a cotton ball on the butt and heels. That was also considering the fact that I was never confident at all but I just didn't understand the hype of being half naked for a night. It could have been the attention of the guys, who as I watched were mesmerized by the groups of girls that walked past in nothing. Personally though, I'd rather have one single guy that liked me for wearing clothes than a group of sex hungry teenage boys who were only looking at the fact that the leotard would be quicker to get off in bed than actually clothing. Nonetheless, I still sucked in my stomach, pulled down my crop top and damned the goodness of pizza whenever I saw a girl who effortlessly had a thin waist and a thigh gap to match.

"Don't laugh when you look at me." I heard a familiar voice say behind me.

I turned around to see Cam standing in a Batman costume with his mask in his hand. His hair was plastered to his forehead and he looked annoyed and frustrated.

"What's wrong with Batman? Gotham City already had another caped crusader booked for tonight?" I laughed, there was no way that I couldn't crack a joke at a generally annoyed Batman.

"What's wrong with Batman is that no one told him that this costume was approximately the temperature of the Sahara desert." He said, fanning himself with the mask.

"Well, I mean you could give half of your costume to one of these lovely ladies who obviously accidentally lost some of theirs on the way here."

"Yeah, or we could just switch. I always dreamed of being a Playboy bunny for Halloween one year, the idea just didn't sit well with my mom." Cam said and we both laughed together, then he paused and looked at me, "So, did you see your boyfriend yet?"

"He's not my boyfriend. And no, I haven't seen him."

"Yet you still automatically thought of him when I said that." Cam said, with a smirk as he dramatically put his mask back on, "And there's your prince charming now."

When Cam said 'prince charming' I expected to see Eli in a knight costume but what I saw surprised me even more. Eli was walking towards me, wearing a collared dark wash denim long sleeve shirt, black skinny jeans, acid wash denim Vans and his hair was held back out of his face by a gray beanie. I'd be lying if I said he didn't look extremely attractive but of course, I'd lie to Eli.

"Gothic cheerleader?" he asked, once he got over to me.

"I think I'd need pom-poms for that. I'm Charli XCX," I waited but not long for him to acknowledge the fact that he had no clue who she was much like everyone then I moved onto him, "And you're?"

"Oh, I'm a regular teenage boy." He said, no hint of sarcasm or joking. Well, his costume fit the description, "I decided to be normal for a change."

"Normal is boring." I smirked, twirling around a piece of newly green hair.

"And that's why I'm never bored." He retorted back, smiling before he took a sip of something in a cup. And I said something because who knew what was actually in there. I didn't want him to drink because last time I was with him and he was drunk was probably in the top ranking of the worst nights of my life. Halloween was my favorite holiday and so far everything about this night was good and I couldn't let alcohol ruin it, if it was here.

"So," I tried to be subtle about it, "Is the punch good?"

"I guess," he shrugged, looking at me with a confused expression, "It's just regular punch."

"Regular punch," I repeated, relieved, "Cool."

"Yeah," he laughed, "No alcohol, yet anyways."

"Yet?"

"Yeah yet!" he said, "Come on, you can't possibly expect me to get through a night with everyone in here without having a little to drink, you couldn't have thought that!"

But the thing was, I did think that. I didn't think that he'd need any type of alcohol to spend a night with me. I wasn't bad, and maybe it had nothing to do with me at all, but if I was with him, wouldn't that be enough to cope with the idiocy that filled the school? But that was the overachiever in me, once again I had thought so highly of myself that I thought Eli would put the alcohol away for one Friday night just for me. I couldn't let Eli see that I cared so much about it, considering it was probably stupid anyways. So, I plastered that fake smile that got me everywhere on and pretended that conversation had no effect on me at all.

I told Eli that I wanted to go get some punch, he offered to walk me but I said that I'd go on my own and be back. Part of me was going over there get punch but the other part was going over to the Batman with sandy brown hair who was occupying the punch table with eyes that were watching Eli and I since the minute he walked over. When I starting walking over, he pretended to be looking at everyone else in the room except me and Eli.

"Because I'm totally convinced that you weren't just staring at me and Eli that whole time." I said, grabbing a cup and pouring juice in it with the spoon.

"I wasn't," he said, then shrugged, giving up ahead of time, "Okay, I was. And from what I saw, you two absolutely did not talk about feelings."

"That's because there's no feelings to discuss." I said, or lied if you wanted to be technical.

"I didn't want it to come to this." Cam muttered, grabbing my hand and dragging me across the auditorium out to the hallway.

"Where are you taking me?!" I asked, holding my cup far away from my partial white shirt as I was practically running behind the speed walking Cam.

He didn't answer me but instead kept pulling me until we got to a closet. He opened it and pointed inside, "There's something in there that you have to get."

"What?" I asked, confused.

I walked into the closet, pretty puzzled on what I would need to get inside an empty closet. I squinted my eyes to see into the pitch darkness and couldn't see anything really. I turned around to ask Cam what it was that I needed and before I could blink, the door slammed shut and I heard a click. My eyes widened and I ran to the door, grabbing the knob, trying to turn it and get out but he locked it. The window was blurred and I could only see a shadow walking away.

"You motherfucker!" I yelled, filled with anger as I was trapped in a closet for who knows how long, "If you don't unlock this door, I will break it down and beat you with the door!"

As I realized he was gone and no one was probably going to walk past this closet anymore, I gave up and leaned against the wall. Why would Cam lock me in here? It made absolutely no sense. Was this where I was supposed to reflect on my thoughts and then give a report on how what I did was wrong and why I would never do it again? My mom used to make me do them when I was younger. I usually always just watched TV during that time and made up a bullshit answer that she would praise happily. I guess I didn't realize until now that I had to put in thought into making up the bullshit answer and that was the point, just to think.

Before my brain started to reminisce more on my childhood, I heard muffled voices coming into earshot. I listened closely and heard two voices, both of which were familiar but they couldn't be together, I mean, why would they be? But as I kept listening, lo and behold, it was Eli and Cam together.

"Why is she trapped in a closet?" I heard Eli said.

"I have no clue!" Cam said and my mouth widened in surprise and anger as I heard him lie, "I tried to open it but nothing budged, maybe you could get it. I'll try one last time."

Cam came over and did something, making the same clicking sound as before. Then he told Eli that he still couldn't get it in which Eli came over and opened it right away. I took a deep breath as I was about to walk out when Eli said, "Why were you trapped in a closet?" And before we both knew it, Eli was being pushed in the closet and by domino effect, I was being pushed back in as well. The door was closed again and the click came one more time, indicating a lock.

"You two are going to talk about your feelings!" Cam called from outside the door, "And I'm standing right out here to make sure it happens!"

"Right," Eli said, louder than his normal voice I suppose so that Cam could hear, "Our feelings, that's what we're talking about!" Then his voice lowered down to his regular volume and he said, "What feelings are we supposed to be talking about?"

I hesitated to tell him what it was as my fear of rejection crept its way into my mind. I didn't want to be in a closet with him as he said that he thought about us as friends, just friends. And that the kiss was just a kiss, an emotionless kiss. I still had the unknown to hold onto, I could still say that _maybe_ he thought about me as more than a friend, _maybe_ the kiss was more to him too, but now in this moment, I'd have to face the truth, I'd have to know what was between us and _if_ there was something between us.

"Our feelings," I paused, still not completely okay with the thought of knowing but also knowing that I wouldn't get out of this closet unless I knew, "Towards each other. I told Cam about our kiss, which was also my first kiss by the way, and now he's convinced we have _feelings _for each other, which is completely false, right?"

"Well," Eli trailed.

I stopped. My breath shortened and my heart stopped. Hesitation. He hesitated, he didn't flat out answer, he didn't flat out tell me there was nothing between us. That meant there was hope, hope that something was between us. Hope that all this time that I thought that I liked someone I had no chance with, there was actually a chance that he might have liked me back.

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CLIFFHANGERRRRRRR, but luckily the next chapter will be up pretty soon so you won't be hanging on too long, but in the meantime please review and tell me what you think because i love you and i really really wanna know your opinions and what you think and i just want to know your feelings okay review please! :)


	18. Well, How Do You Feel?

I'm really sorry guys pls don't hate me I had to babysit this week and I didn't know and I didn't have much time to write but I did when I could and now we're here and I'm really sorry it took so long ajskhksjs but here it is okay I'm sorry again!

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I stared at what I could see of Eli as I anticipated his answer. My hands were turning clammy and I tried wiping them off on my skirt but they just ended up getting clammy again as I waited for Eli to finish his thought.

"Well," he repeated and I wanted to scream at him to just tell me how he felt so we could get this over with, "How do you feel?"

"Fuck," I whispered under my breath. I didn't want to go first, I didn't want to tell him my feelings and have to deal with disappointment afterwards, at least if he went first I could pretend that I didn't have feelings and attempt to throw them in my DO NOT THINK box in the back of my head. But I took several deep breaths and started, "Alright well um, I like you, as more than a friend. That kiss was definitely more than just a kiss for me or maybe it was because it was my first kiss, I don't know. But I do know that I wouldn't have wanted my first kiss to be with anyone except you and that's cheesy and dumb, I know but it's also true. If you don't feel the same way, it's fine I totally get it-"

"And how crazy would it be if I said I did feel the same way?" Eli cut me off.

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. I was literally speechless, it would be extremely crazy if he said that he did feel the same way. I mean, it would be the only wish that I wanted more than anything and for it to be happening, right now, with the person I would want it to happen with the most seemed unbelievable. I went to pinch myself just to make sure that this wasn't a dream, but when I pinched myself, I didn't feel it at all, not even a little. So this had to be a dream, I was in a deep sleep and I just wasn't waking up, that was it.

"Is there a reason you're pinching me right now?" Eli's voice broke into my dream, or what I thought was a dream. I wasn't pinching me, I was pinching Eli.

"Sorry." I muttered, taking my pinching hand away from Eli's arm, "I just can't believe that you actually feel the same about me."

"Why not?" I couldn't see Eli's face but I could feel that his face got closer to mine.

"Because you're you, I'm me. My life has been boring until the minute I met you. Life was just walking around doing daily things and seeing the same places until I got here. You were my first kiss and that alone was something special but for you like me back, that's crazy."

Eli chuckled, "You give yourself way less credit than you deserve."

"What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely not getting it.

"I mean, you're trying to make yourself think this is a dream because you don't think anyone would like you back. You don't think you're good enough for someone to like you back but you are. I like you, Summer Mitchell, I like you as more than a friend and want to be more than friends. This isn't a dream, this is real life."

I blinked a few times just to make sure but then I realized if it was a dream, I would have woken up by now and Eli being so close to me wouldn't feel so real. I didn't want to but I had to ask, I had to make sure, "So, you like me, you really like me, right?"

"As much as I can like 17-year-old equally sarcastic, indie listening, cutely awkward girl, I like you, Summer Mitchell, I _really _like you." He said, getting closer to me with each word, I couldn't see him but I could feel him, "And I have a confession."

"Spill." I said, as his face was a mere centimeter away from me, making my breath shorten as I couldn't see him but only could feel what would happen next.

"Since that night at the pool," he paused like he didn't want to continue but since he started had no choice but to finish, "I haven't stopped thinking about the next time I'd be able to kiss you."

My heart stopped, my eyes widened and I was so thankful for the dark being able to hide the excessive amount of blushing that I had just surfaced on my cheeks. I didn't know what to say, what did you say to something like that? I couldn't sit here thinking about what I'd want to say for a long amount of time until the point where things would get awkward. I had to take a chance, I already took one tonight and it worked out in my favor so I had to trust that I'd say the right thing this time.

I took a deep breath and continued before my brain could tell me to stop, "Well, I'm right here."

And before I knew it, Eli and I both grabbed for each other so quickly that Flash would have been jealous. I wrapped my arms around Eli's neck pulling him as close as I could possibly get him and he did the same but his force was much stronger so I ended up being pushed against the wall by him. He had his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me so close to him that I was sure even air had no chance of getting in-between us. My hands had moved from Eli's neck to his hair, knocking his beanie off as my hands had run through his hair. As Eli's hands ran across the parts of my lower back that weren't covered by my crop top, chills went up my spine and through my veins. Those fireworks that everybody bragged about were replaced by bombs. Massive bombs that wouldn't stop going off as Eli's hands moved and my hands were getting tangled in his hair and our lips clashed and my heart was beating a million beats per second as Eli's body pushed closer into me and I pushed closer to the wall.

"Alright, it sounds like you two have made up considering I hear it _all the way out here_!" I had actually forgot that he was outside but was reminded when Cam's voice came through the door, "When you guys are done, the door is unlocked!"

I had no choice but to laugh as I heard Cam which also resulted in me pulling away from Eli. As I laughed, Eli's head went into my neck and he started laughing too. Then we just stood there holding each other and laughing until Eli pulled away and looked at me.

"What do you say to us getting out of here?" he said.

"And doing what?" I asked.

"Anything we want." He smirked, and I could only see his smirk partly with the light that lightly came in through the small window, "I have a car and we live in big city, there's countless amounts of things to do."

Eli made it seem so easy and adventurous as he said it that I had no choice but to agree to it. I'd be upset all night if I stayed when I had the option to go anywhere I wanted, in Toronto of course. I pretty much hadn't been a teenager until this year and I wanted to make as many moments as I could before all this was just a memory and I had regretted not taking the chances I could have.

"Fine but before we go, I have to go see Cam." I said, as we walked out the closet and it seemed like a blast of cold air had been shot at us.

"Alright, I'll be waiting outside and tell him thanks." He said as he walked out the door.

I headed back into the auditorium to find Cam, which was pretty hard considering there was more than one Batman in the room and they all decided to have their masks on. Hoping that Cam didn't have his on, I scanned the room for his hair first and as I did, I found him back at the punch table where he was when I first saw him before he dragged me into the closet.

"Not enjoying the dance much?" I asked as I walked over to him.

He looked at me through the side of his eyes and said, "Not as much as you. Headed out?"

"Yeah, I came to say thanks though." I said, hugging him, "And Eli said thanks too."

"I bet he did, all the face sucking that was going on, I deserve an award for getting you two together." Cam said, with a smirk, "But I'll accept a thanks because of your happiness."

"Awww," I said, hugging him again but tighter than the first hug as no one ever really looked out for my happiness as a priority and here was one of the first people to ever do that, "You're gonna be okay tonight without me, right?"

"Yeah of course, psssh, I have more than just you as a friend," He said, "Okay maybe not but you have your fun night, I'll be fine, there's enough punch to last the night!"

Part of me wanted to stay for Cam, I knew how it felt to be alone at a dance while watching everyone else with at least one person and you just had a cup to keep you company. But Eli was outside waiting for me, I never had the problem of having to choose between two people but now I knew how hard it felt. I didn't want to seem like I was blowing off my friend for a make out session but I also didn't want to blow off Eli when I already agreed to go. I watched the clock tick quickly as I tried to made up my mind.

"Alright, well if you get too lonely, don't hesitate to text me!" I said, as I waved as him as I was walking away.

Cam nodded and waved back and once he did, I turned around to run out of the auditorium considering I spent about 10 minutes talking to Cam and Eli was probably boiling out with sarcastic remarks throw at me. As I ran outside and down the steps, Eli's car was standing in front of the steps with a classic rock station playing out loudly and he was nodding his head to the music slowly with his eyes closed.

"Hey!" I said, causing him to jerk out of his daze and look at me.

"Oh finally, I decided to take a nap for our little date since you were taking _so_ long."

"Oh so it's a date now?" I said with a smile for the fact that this wouldn't just be our first date but my first date as well.

"Of course it is, you know I don't just take any girl to a dance and then ditch the dance with her." Eli said, smirking, "But you're not just any girl. Now, let's get this road on the show."

* * *

A movie, that was what this night felt like.

I was sitting on top of a vintage convertible on a cliff that overlooked almost all of Toronto. It seemed like the city was so much more full of life at night but I never got out to see it. Everything was brighter and more lively. The lights were almost blinding but in a good way, blinding like everything else was no longer important, nothing was worth worrying about if I could sit here in this exact spot, wrapped in Eli's hoodie as the air was more cooler in the night and stare at the city lights and forget anything and everything that made me think. Thinking was a foreign concept as I stared at the grid of lights that were laid in front of me.

"So, Summer Mitchell," Eli's voice broke into my thoughts, "Tell me about you."

"About me?" That was such a vague topic, heck, it was a MySpace fill in box, that I also could never fill in fully, I never knew what was important enough to put there just like I didn't know what would be important to say now.

"Alright, tell me about your life before you got here. What was the wonderful city of New York like to you?"

"Well it wasn't wonderful." I said, looking at my nails and starting to scrape the nail polish off, I always had to find something to distract my mind as I talked about non-enjoyable topics and as I reflected on my life New York now, it definitely wasn't enjoyable, "But I don't think it was New York that wasn't wonderful. I think it was my surroundings. I surrounded myself with people who didn't really care about me as much as I cared about them. I felt so small and unimportant and being in a big city like New York, it made me feel even more unimportant like I didn't matter to anyone, if I disappeared no one would care. And it's funny because I basically did disappear by moving here and no one has managed to see how I am, because I don't matter to them. All anyone wants is to be wanted, whether they want to admit it or not. I'm terrified of being alone for the rest of my life, the thought of sleeping alone every night until I die scares me so much. But I mean, we're born alone, we die alone, we just try to make it seem like we're not alone through friendships and relationships, right?"

"I think you're just scared." Eli said, still leaning back but instead of looking at the city, he was looking at me.

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of getting attached to people for the fear that they'll up and leave. You think everyone will do that to you and you think that because everyone leaves, you'll be alone. But some people don't leave and you can't push everyone away because you'll end up with no one eventually."

"Yeah but that's what you end up with anyways." I said, shrugging, trying to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal to me when it was.

"Well, I'm not leaving. You can push me away all you want and I'll still come back."

I wanted to come back with a remark but there was nothing I could say to that. I was speechless, tongue-tied, cleared of thought. The only thing I could think of to respond to that was to hug him. It was a dumb, cheesy, middle school move but that was all that came to me. I just snuggled close him, holding him tightly and closing my eyes as I inhaled his signature scent of burnt vanilla and mint and smiled. He was here, he wasn't leaving. He was the first person to ever formally commit to me and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to be that person.

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Alrighty hopefully the chapter helps you forgive me a little! So please review and tell me what you think because that's what I care about ok I really wanna know! (you can even tell me how much you dislike me atm for taking so long or whatever your pretty little hearts desire, I'll be happy okay thanks!)


	19. Halloween Night

Alright guys please don't hate me I'm sorry, I kind of had extreme writers block with this chapter so then I tried to put my creativity into editing Degrassi and I kind of got sidetracked but of course I'm not giving up on this story okay?! Also, the new season of Degrassi, pretty good right guys? I really love Miles a lot ((I actually am in love with Miles' character and Eric Osborne both of them yes, once we know more about Miles and I'm finished this story, I'll probably write a fanfic for him maybe with Maya or an O/C idk)). Also, Clare's storyline is really heartbreaking but it's a good storyline to portray and I think Aislinn's doing a super good job with it! But anyways, here's the new chapter sorry it's not that long!

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"Come on, Summer!"

My brother was downstairs, hastily pacing through the living room in his Halloween costume, waiting for me to come downstairs to take him trick-or-treating. We did it every year and of course he couldn't let the tradition go, which I couldn't blame him for, I'd milk getting free candy until the last day I could too. I, on the other hand, was completely over taking him out when there was no candy for me and if I dressed up, I'd get weird looks. But I tried to push my complaints to the back of my mind, for the sake of my brother and grabbed my phone, putting it in the back pocket of my jeans and my keys, holding them in my hand as I walked out of my room and down the steps.

"Alright, Mr. Impatient, let's go."

"It's not my fault that you spent all night out with your boyfriend when you knew that you had to take me trick or treating." Sam said, getting off the couch with a shrug.

"That has nothing to do with this and he is _not_ my boyfriend." I said, opening up the door.

"Who's not your boyfriend?"

I jumped back in fear as the second I opened my door, Eli was standing there, smirking because he had clearly scared the living hell out of me. I pushed him in anger for both the fact that he scared me and the fact that he publicly displayed his pleasure in scaring me.

"Fu-" I stuttered off as I realized my brother was standing there and though I knew that he probably heard worse and maybe even once in a while said it, I couldn't say any curse words near him with dignity, "-dge, fudge you, Eli."

Both Eli and Sam laughed at me and I couldn't do anything but roll my eyes and push them both out of the doorway and close the door behind me. As Sam ran off to start trick or treating, I turned to Eli.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, and I realized how harsh it sounded after it had already flew off my lips.

"Whoa, the harshness, I really felt that in my heart and it hurt, it really hurt." Eli said, clutching his heart and leaning over for added dramatic effect, then held his head up to look at me as he continued, "But if you must know, I'm here because I have an offer for you."

"Well, we should talk about that offer as we walk before I lose my brother and following that, my life," I said, walking ahead of him, leading the way.

"Alright," he said, catching up with me and walking the same pace, "How would you like to go on a road trip?"

"Right now?" I asked, legitimately confused on where this was headed and hoping it wasn't headed in the direction of him being serious.

"No, not exactly at this moment but soon." His voice was filled with giddy excitement.

"You're being completely serious?" I asked then stopped myself, there was no way a road trip was even in question, "Wait, Eli, there's no way we can do this. You want us to put our whole lives on hold for a week to drive around, burning gas and leaving everything behind."

"Yes, and you're lying if you say a part of you doesn't want to do it too." Eli said, putting his hands on my shoulders and looking me in the eyes eagerly, "Think about it, you taking a break from everything that stresses you out and just driving around not worrying about what's going to happen next because you don't know what's going to happen next. It's a crazy concept but you've lived your whole life being stiff and only doing what you were supposed to do, don't you think you deserve to be a little bit crazy for a week?"

I opened my mouth to argue straight away with Eli, but part of me agreed with him. A road trip, to see things that I never saw and not worry about useless problems, just driving and listening to music and being a teenager. Being careless and taking a risk, I had to do it. Part of me was so against it, it was yelling at me that this was a bad idea, that I'd regret it in the long run. But I wasn't going to regret it now and now was what was on my mind. The future would hold something completely different for me and I couldn't worry about what that was.

"Fine, Eli." I said, trying to hide my smile of excitement, "But this has to happen during Winter Break because no matter how much I like this adventure thing, I'm not going to fail school for it."

"Cool with me, as long as it happens, I'm happy."

"So, is this what you came all the way to my house for?" I asked, just out of curiosity.

"Nope, I knew you'd be taking Sam trick or treating and of course I love trick or treating so I figured I'd tag along. Also, I think we should find him before you lose your life."

* * *

After about an hour of circling around my neighborhood to get all the candy Sam could possibly get, we were back at home. Eli had left and now Sam and I were just sitting on the couch, eating candy and watching Goosebumps. He didn't even bother to change out of his costume and I didn't bother to make him.

"Summer?" Sam's voice broke into the sound of the TV show.

"Hmmm?" I answered as my mouth was occupied with a Snickers bar.

"You're not going to _change_ are you?"

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Sam had asked me that. The first thing that came to my mind was maybe he was a little spooked from the TV show and thought I was going to morph into a werewolf when the next new moon came but I talked about that with Sam before. Part of me knew he was talking about something more real than that, something that wasn't superficial.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean now that you and Eli are together, and don't try to convince me that you aren't, are you going to change into someone different? You know, like in movies and TV shows, when girls get boyfriends or vice versa, they start changing into someone they never wanted to become. You're not going to do that, are you? Because no matter how much I don't like you, I don't want to change."

I paused. I had to answer this honestly. I couldn't say no, I already felt myself changing, never in a million years before I met Eli would I have said yes to a road trip that my dad would know nothing about. I also wouldn't have sneaked out to go trespassing in a pool to have my first kiss. And I definitely wouldn't have taken advantage of my dad's working schedule to ship my brother off to his friend's house all the time so that I would be able to stay out with Eli. I did change, I was changing and before this moment, I couldn't tell if it was good or not. It was good that I was taking chances and being a teenager and experiencing life when I haven't all these years but it wasn't good that I was going against all my morals and life lessons to do so. And it especially felt weird that my brother was now sitting here, questioning me about if I'd stay true to myself in a relationship with Eli. I didn't even question this, I was so blinded by my love of having a life that I didn't realize I was changing myself to get it.

I sighed and tried to answer as honestly as I could, "Sam, I don't think I'm going to change but I can't be sure. As you know, I've never had a boyfriend, I don't know what it's like and how it may affect me. I've changed kind of a lot since we moved here and I know you probably see those changes too as they affect you too but I'm still me at heart, you know? I still would rather sit at home on a Friday night than go out to a lame party but now, I at least consider going out to that party which wouldn't have happened last year. I guess what I'm saying is, I don't think I'm going to change but I may, and if I do, I'll still be me at heart. And if you start seeing any bad changes in me, do anything you can to stop it, okay?"

"Alright, but, " Sam said, holding out his pinky finger, "You have to promise that you'll at least try to not change."

I put up my thumb and chained it with his pinky. That was our promise symbol, the equivalent to the pinky promise, we hadn't really used it much considering there was nothing out of the ordinary that we'd have to promise about. After we promised, I let go of his finger and hugged him tightly.

"Sam, I love you." I said, hugging me a little more tightly.

"Alright, Summer, I know I said I didn't want you to change but I didn't want this sappy stuff either, I still don't like you."

But I still smiled because that was his way of saying he loved me and the fact that he didn't push me away and try to break out of my hug proved that Sam would always be there, no matter what, at least I'd have my brother.

* * *

Alright woop woop hopefully you don't hate me and hopefully you still like me enough to review and tell me what you think. And also when you review (if you do review which hopefully you do because that would be pretty awesome) you could tell me what you think about the new episode because I wanna know what other people think and also, you could tell me if you'd be interested in me writing that Miles fanfic (of course after I finished this story and we learn a little more about Miles). Okay until next time which hopefully will be soon! :)


	20. Sleepy Summer

Hey guys, hopefully this hasn't been too long or maybe it has, if it has I'm sorry! How's everyone enjoying the new Degrassi (except for the new opening which is permanent grrr) I like it a lot so far, waiting for the storyline involving Miles dad which will probably be after the summer but yeah (speaking of Miles, I will be writing that Miles fanfic ofc after I'm finished this one bc updating two fanfics will not work out for me) But anyways, here's that new chapter! :)

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A bag, that was what I needed.

A bag to throw over my head and be ignored for the rest of the day, well rather not looked at, I was ignored with or without a bag.

I walked into school, feeling the most tired I had ever felt. Last night, neither Sam or I could sleep, probably from the sugar rush of eating 75% of his candy bag, so we stayed up literally all night watching TV. I went to sleep two hours ago and woke up one hour ago. Plus with no sleep for me came not wanting to get ready. So now here I was walking into school with skinny jeans, an oversized gray sweatshirt that I randomly found in my closet and a pair of regular black and white converse, with frizzy, messy hair that I put no effort into attempting to fix and eyes that were attempted to be fixed with mascara but that attempt was void with the red that surrounded my pupils. I growled internally at the girls who walked by me with similar outfits but perfected messy buns and wonderful makeup. How did they even do that?

When I reached my locker, Eli was already there, putting books into his backpack and probably not realizing I was there, of course until I started to put in my combination.

"So how was-" Eli cut himself off abruptly, "Whoa."

I rolled my eyes and sighed at his reaction, now I had an idea about what was rolling through everyone else's mind that saw me as they walked through the hallways. I wanted to not care, I mean I put so much effort into what I wore every single day didn't I deserve a day to not give a shit what I looked like without judgment? I mean, I didn't judge the girls that wore skirts that were on the verge of looking like a piece of duct tape wrapped around of them. Or maybe I did, but I definitely did keep my thoughts and comments to myself in my head and I didn't show them my feelings so blatantly.

"Yes, I know Eli, I look horrible. But please give me a break. I had one hour of sleep and along with bad appearance, sleep deprivation produces edginess and the ability to snap on someone with no probable cause so please Eli, review any sarcastic remark you were about to say." I said, ending my speech with a lovely, heartwarming smile as I went back to packing up my books for the day.

"Actually, I was going to say whoa, I really like the messy hairdo, it really brings out the red in your eyes. I never noticed the red until today." Eli said, squinting his eyes and getting closer to edge me on even more and it was his lucky day.

I closed, or rather slammed if you wanted the real truth, my locker and turned to Eli. I didn't know what to do but I just didn't have the patience to deal with his insensitivity this morning. So, out of love for his well being if he wanted to be around me for the rest of the day, or anger that just so unfortunately had taken over me along with monster inside me fighting for sleep, I kicked him in the shin which in my mind didn't seem bad but as I saw him keel over in pain, I felt a little bad. Emphasis on the little.

I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "So, I'll see you later on at lunch. Hopefully, you've learned a valuable lesson today, don't mess with a sleepy Summer, especially when she gives you a forewarning."

I smiled as Eli cursing at me in a whisper faded as I walked away. Maybe I should be sleepy Summer all the time, she was much more badass and didn't have to put effort into appearances. Sleepy Summer was quite alright.

And that confidence boost was shattered right away as I walked into French class and no one outright laughed, but eyes were widened and mouths were covered and suddenly, having that bag didn't seem so bad.

Shoulders slumped and confidence torn, I sat down in my seat next to Cam and slid down hoping that maybe if I hid well enough everyone would forget about me but it didn't work out that way. Stares were still directed at me and I still heard snickers and whispers about how "I really walked out of the house like that".

"It's not bad," Cam's voice whispered down to me, "Messy hair is a trend right? Messy buns, stuff like that?"

"Yeah, messy buns that literally aren't messy at all." I whispered harshly back, "But this is a hundred percent messy."

As our French teacher began the lesson and turned around, I slowly came back up out of my slouch hoping everyone would be paying more attention to learning than to me.

"Anyways," Cam said, changing the subject while also simultaneously comprehending the lesson and writing down notes, "You, Eli, what happened after you ditched me?"

"I didn't ditch you." I said, louder than what I thought I made my voice, then lowered it back down to the smallest whisper I could manage, "Let's remember who locked us in a closet. But that's neither here nor there because your plan worked and Eli and I are what I guess you could call official, I've never had to think about it before."

"And once again, Cam is right. Wow I wish more circumstances in my life were like this." He said, stopping from writing his notes to look at me with a laugh then as he went back to copying common French greetings, he continued, "Any plans of the Mr. and Mrs.?"

"Actually yeah," I said, relieved that I'd be able to talk to someone about this because even though I already agreed to it with Eli, part of me was still itching and had a bad feeling about it, "So, Eli came to my house yesterday and said he had an offer. Turns out that offer was a road trip, me, him and his car, thoughts?"

"Well that offer was much different from what I was thinking," Cam chuckled, "But I mean, as long as it's not during school, I don't see how much could go wrong. Just don't do anything bad."

"It's just a road trip, I don't see how many bad things we could get into." I said, lying. There was plenty of bad things that could happen with Eli as a road trip partner. His spontaneity was attractive but also could be dangerous but I guess that was also attractive too. That damn bad boy persona and its attractive ways.

"Anything that starts off with '_It's just…_' is probably more than what it just is, proven fact. Just remember that along the way, don't do anything you wouldn't normally do."

* * *

Lunch time.

Usually by the time I got to my locker, Eli was already standing there at our spot in front of our lockers waiting for me. But when I got there today, there wasn't an Eli to be found. Thinking that maybe he got caught late in a class or something, I shrugged it off and continued how I normally would if Eli was there. Get my lunch, close my locker door, slide down and sit on the ground. Eat. But as time went by, Eli still hadn't shown up. Suddenly, I regretted the sleepy Summer that took over me this morning. As always, I probably ended up taking things too far instead of just being a little funny.

I tried to finish my sandwich but I couldn't stomach it as I sat alone and people walked by, looking at me. Those pathetic looks were coming again. The pathetic looks of people who felt bad for you but not enough to talk or interact with you in any way. Basically, they just wanted to let themselves know that they had a heart, a good heart that can tell when someone is down or isn't happy but their heart wasn't good enough to pick them up or make them feel a bit happier.

"Why so glum, chum?"

Suddenly, in what was literally a blink of an eye, black converses appeared in front of me. The same black converses that were a few inches below the shin that I kicked this morning. When I looked up and saw Eli standing there, looking down at me, in the spur of a moment of happiness, I jumped up and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Whoa, where's this coming from?" he said.

Completely ignoring his question, I went straight into an apology as I realized I was more down in those 10 minutes without Eli, thinking he was upset with me than I was about a lot of things in my life before, "I'm sorry for earlier. I was tired and annoyed and I took it out on you and you didn't do anything really, well except joke about it and you joke about stuff all the time. I just hope you're not mad about sleepy Summer, she's sorry, I'm sorry."

"Oh, she's sorry! She's sorry, she's sorry, she's sorry, she's sorry, she's sorry! Luckily I don't have witch powers to kill you." he said, laughing then making sure I was laughing as well so that the joke didn't end up being as harsh as it could sounded, then when I laughed as well, he continued, "But it's fine, this morning was probably the hottest you've ever been. You're really attractive when you're mad. I'm thinking about pissing you off a little more every day."

I pulled away from him with a glare. I shook my head as I sat back down on the ground and Eli sat down with me.

"You ate without me?" Eli said, wiping away fake tears, "I just- I always thought eating lunch together was a thing, our thing, but you just ate without me- I don't even know what to do now."

"How about you start with eating your lunch, that way you're eating without me eating too and in the end, we both end up eating without each other."

"That's not the same thing but fine, whatever helps you sleep at night. Which hopefully, you will be sleeping tonight and will have your proper rest so tomorrow, lunch will be normal." Eli said, "And my shin will also be unharmed."

"Aw, poor shin of Eli's, what ever could I do to make it better?"

"Hmm, at the moment, nothing. But I'm sure our road trip will make up for it."

Yeah, the road trip, I'd be counting down the days.

* * *

High five if you got that The Craft reference in there (oh she's sorry, she's sorry, she's sorry, that part). Anyways, I've realized this story will probably be quite long with the way I've paced it and the ideas I have coming up or I could just make the chapters long too, that would work. Anyways, don't forget to be awesome and review and tell me what you think and I'll see you soon with another chapter (the start of the road trip whoop whoop)!


	21. Second Thoughts

Alright guys pls don't hate me, this chapter is kinda short bc it's a filler chapter before the like actual road trip adventures begin. Also, if I don't update like super often, I'm super sorry, I also still have to read like 4 books for school in a month and do reports on them and ahdskjds I don't even wanna think about school but I have to so yeah! But I will still finish this story don't worry about it! :)

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Today was it, today was the day. The day I'd do the most rebellious thing I would probably ever do in my life. I'd leave my house and everything in it for an adventure. Even if it was only for a week, my heart beat accelerated anytime the thought crossed through my brain, which happened to be every minute practically.

I stood at my locker, clutching my backpack as the thought of backing out also kept its way into my brain. There was so many risks that came along with the trip. The risk that we might get lost or anything could happen to either one of us or anyone we cared about and no one would know where we were. I didn't want to back out but at the same time, I didn't want all these risks tearing at my insides every minute during the trip, ripping me apart, torturing every second with fear filled thoughts that would only make me not enjoy the trip.

I stuffed my head in my locker in frustration as who I could only assume was Eli walked up and knocked on my locker door.

"Knock knock." He said.

"Who's there?"

"That wasn't a knock knock joke!" he said, walking over to the other side of me that wasn't guarded by the door, "I'm assuming your head is in the locker because you just couldn't contain your excitement for the road trip."

"Complete opposite." I said, breathing heavily, getting anxiety just hearing the words road and trip.

"So your head is in the locker because you could contain your excitement for the road trip?" Eli said, chuckling.

"My head is in the locker because I'm not sure if I want to go on this road trip. It's exciting and fun and teenagers do this all the time, I get that but I'm already having anxiety about things happening and we're too far away and no one knows where we are for anyone to help us and I don't know if I'm ready for this."

"Alright well, first, if I could have the pleasure of seeing your face for the first time during this conversation," he paused, waiting for me to come out of my locker nest. When I did, he looked at me and continued, "Secondly, that's the whole purpose of this trip. You know, as much as I love being a reckless rebel without a cause or purpose, I also think over things as well. You need this trip, you've never done anything out of the ordinary or crazy or wild just for the heck of it. You're a senior in high school, in college I promise they're going to do worse and you need to at least have some sort of out of your comfort zone experience for later in life. Sure, things can happen during this trip while we're gone but wouldn't those same things happen if you were here as well? The answer is yes. Therefore, the answer is yes to this trip. You have to go and you know that you want to."

"I don't _have_ to do anything." I said, as I closed my locker, hooked my backpack on the shoulder and turned to him.

"But you want to and you will because just as much I do, you know I'm right. No matter how stubborn you attempt to be, we both know we're headed to your house now and you're going to pack for this road trip." Eli said, with a smirk of knowing that he was right and as he walked away, turned his head back for a second, "Oh how great it feels to be right, you should try it sometime."

And right he was.

As I stood in my room, throwing clothes into a bag quickly and without attention, I heard Eli and Sam downstairs getting into a video game they were playing. I didn't even know what I was putting in my bag, I was just grabbing clothes that seemed 'road trip' fitting and put them in there or rather, stuffed them in there. I put all the necessities I thought I needed in there. Phone charger, toothbrush, toothpaste, a bag of ChapStick, etc. Alright, maybe the last one wasn't a necessity but it was definitely something I needed.

When I double-checked my bag about four times, went through a mental check of what I do each day to make sure everything I needed to do those things was with me, I zipped up my bag and turned the light off in my room, and closed the door. When I walked downstairs, Sam and Eli both looked at me, then at each other, then back at me with a look of disapproval.

"What?" I asked, when I reached the bottom of the steps.

"Nothing." Eli said, "You know, except for the fact that you have a bag sized for a month trip and we're gonna be gone for a week."

"This is not a month bag! This is a perfectly sized bag for a week!" I said, dropping it on the ground and ignoring the sound it made that could only be caused by a heavy mass.

"Right." Sam interjected with rolling eyes as he looked back at Eli, "_Girls_. Glad I don't have to deal with them yet."

"Yeah, but with all the trouble they cause, you'll be thanking them a lot one day. They do things you couldn't even imagine-"

"Hey!" I interrupted Eli's talk that I could only see going so many places that I didn't want Sam visiting yet, "Maybe this talk should continue in about 4 or 10 years."

"Summer, you act like I don't know this stuff already." Sam said.

And as much as I knew that what he was saying was true, that he knew things now that I couldn't even think of knowing when I was that age, I didn't want to believe it or hear about it. He was still my little brother, who wasn't supposed to know those things therefore, I'd make myself keep thinking that he didn't know those things.

"Whatever, we should get on the road now." I said, attempting to get that conversation out and flown away.

After Eli and Sam finished their game, we all hopped into Eli's car, first to Sam's friend's house to drop him off. As he got out, he told me he'd call if dad came home early though it'd probably be no use but just to let me know. And in Sam's secret terms, that basically meant he cared and for me to take care. And I told him to not have too much fun, which basically meant to not have too much fun but I gave a heartwarming smile and I think he felt the love.

Once Sam was dropped off and Eli and I were off to who knows where, I leaned back in my seat and stared out of the window. As trees went by and unfamiliar houses and strangers passed by, I sighed heavily, letting out all the worries that went along with those trees and shapes. I had nothing to worry about now, wherever we were headed, everything was new. Nothing was tainted with stress or apprehensions and I couldn't wait.

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Alright, next chapter, road trip adventures start woop woop! Remember, review and let me know what ya think (and if you also wanna leash out your anger of me not updating then you can do that too, I approve!)


	22. Daydreaming and Driving

Alright this where I write about how sorry I am that I took forever to write this chapter in which I really am. Sometimes I don't realize how many days have actually gone by since I've posted a new chapter and yeah I'm so sorry you guys but here we go, whole new chapter for you guys written with love. :)

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"So where are we?"

We had been driving for about an hour and as we pulled up on a red light on who knows what street in who knows where, I'd figured I'd ask in some sort of way where this road trip was headed.

"I don't know." Eli said, with a shrug like the answer that just came out of his mouth was okay in any way shape or form, "I've been here a few times I think."

My eyes my widened in surprise but I knew I signed up for this when I agreed to go on this absurd trip. I took a deep breath, hoping that if I just waited it out that things would start getting better soon and by better, I meant not lost or killed.

As we kept driving, I stared out the window, watching the unfamiliar scenery pass by. I looked at the houses with the different doors and driveways. Houses with newly mowed lawns and mailboxes that were just emptied and houses with trees that engulfed the house, making it barely visible. Houses with small red convertibles in front of the garage and houses with SUVs parked in front and soccer balls thrown in front.

It was crazy how much you could know, or think you know about houses from just looking at the outside. By seeing that SUV with sports equipment thrown everywhere, you could tell that house was probably holding in a mom with a couple of kids. They probably had a calendar on the wall, so that no one's soccer or baseball practice was missed. Their mom was probably the biggest fan, being at every single game and with kids and work, she probably had no time to clean up their mess or even any time for herself except the occasional nights she could go out and have a night out with the other soccer moms. But then again, you could know nothing about that family. Maybe, inside that house was a mom and a dad, they argued all the time. The kids, being scared of the yelling and arguing, escaped outside and played with each other, trying to ignore the anger and frustration that followed them through the walls of the house and haunted them as they couldn't help but think they were the cause of it even though they couldn't be less of the blame. As the argument was over for now, their mom pops her head out the door to call them in for dinner, in a hurry to get in the house afraid of another argument, they scurry inside, leaving the toys all over the yard.

I shuddered a little as I hoped that scenario wasn't real. I had a wild imagination, even as a kid. But it wasn't the imagination that I was a pretty princess in a castle made of gumdrops and chocolate that floated on a huge cloud of cotton candy. Most of the time, they were realistic things and that's what made them even more scarier. I didn't dream of a tree breaking through my window in the middle of the night, grabbing me and eating me. That would have been easier to deal with the explanation, it was just a dream, that can't happen in real life. But I dreamed about someone whose face was never visible by a hat that shadowed over their face being able to appear anywhere and take me. Picking the locks of my house or grabbing me in a grocery store when my dad looked away to pick up a jar of peanut butter. The stranger haunted my dreams, day and night and it was even scarier because it could happen at any time. It wasn't imaginary, it wasn't something I could just brush off as a dream and continue on with life, it could happen at any moment. I was scared to be alone for the fact that being alone would make me an even better target, but the problem with that was that I was alone. I had friends, but they forgot about me most of the time. If I did have anyone, they would leave soon and I'd be by myself, an open target for that shadowed stranger.

Maybe that's why Eli meant so much to me so soon, I thought as I looked over at him. He showed in an interest in me, he chose me. He could protect me from the stranger that surrounded my dreams. The stranger that lived for my loneliness, for the chance to grab me. The stranger that disappeared with company and came back to grab me when I slept alone at night. I always dreamed I'd have someone to lie beside me and hold me when the stranger popped up and tell me it was just a dream because if it was real, they would be there to protect me from him. And maybe, even if it was just for now, Eli could be that person.

I looked down and saw his hand that wasn't operating the wheel leaning against the cup holders. I slowly slid my hand underneath his and clutched it, smiling as the warmth of another person had me. Eli looked over at me, probably prepared with a sarcastic remark about the sudden act of kindness but I guess my face still had the aftermath of the thought of that stranger and he didn't say anything. Instead, he just squeezed my hand a little tighter and smirked with a look that told me he was here, and that was everything I needed to know.

* * *

I opened my eyes to see that the sky was turning a dark orange and the sun was lowering itself to go to sleep. I looked and saw that my hand was still holding Eli's all during my what could only have been a thirty minute nap. Then I realized that the car was stopped and we were parked. I looked out of the window, thinking we were back at home as what was in front of me looked like the Dot at first glance but I looked closer and realized it wasn't.

"Did we break down or something?" I said, instantly sitting up at the thought.

"She awakes!" Eli said, looking at me, "Nope, I figured we should stop to get something to eat but I didn't want to wake you up at the same time so I just sat here."

"How long?"

"Like 10 minutes." Eli shrugged, "But you're up now so questions are invalid and we should go eat."

Without being able to answer if there was a needed answer, Eli hopped out of the car and following, I got out too. I followed him to the small diner type deal. It looked pretty cozy like one of those places that people went to, to drink black coffee and listen to indie and write poetry. I'd be doing zero of those things, unless of course they had indie music playing and I'd listen gladly, but it seemed cool enough to be a place that seemed like it was made for that.

When we walked in, we sat in a small table near the back, next to a window, underneath a light that seemed to add 10 degrees to the top of my head. It seemed like as soon as we sat down, someone came over to help us, which wasn't really unlikely considering we were one of about ten people in here at the moment. I just wish my luck wouldn't been that good home all the time, I used to waiting about 15 minutes being getting a waiter or waitress. It also made me nervous as well because I never knew what to pick when eating and as our waitress was walking over I quickly skimmed through the menu not wanting to waste any of her time being indecisive much like I always was.

Once she walked over and asked our orders, in attempt to get the awkward ordering process out the way and to not waste any time, I looked down at the menu and the first thing I saw was waffles so following that, that's what I ordered. Waffles. I ordered waffles! I loved waffles but I could tell by Eli about to laugh at me that it was a weird choice. Sorry I didn't put thought into my order and get grilled cheese and fries like you.

"Waffles? Really?" Eli asked, laughing as the waitress walked away.

"I panicked, okay?" I said, trying to fight back a smile as it was pretty funny.

"Panicked? Ordering food?"

"Yes, it's a lot of pressure ordering food. I like to either go last or get it out the way first. It's a lot of pressure."

"_Right_." He said, rolling his eyes with a smirk.

We sat there for a while, not really saying anything as there wasn't much to talk about. I watched the sky changing colors little by little. I never really ever paid attention to the sky as I was either always in my room or when I went outside, staring at the sky wasn't the first thing on my mind. But as I did it now, it was super pretty. The colors morphed from purple to a really dark orange and it spend all around like a tie dyed shirt but from nature. The sun was out of view but still shined a little gradient of light across the tie dyed palette of the sky. As I stared at it, our food came and I pulled my eyes away and came back to reality in the diner.

In an attempt of revenge at Eli for laughing at me, I reached over quickly and stole some of his fries, stuffing them in mouth before he could take them or attempt to take them back.

"Wow, the audacity of people nowadays!" Eli said, a little loudly, attracting the attention of the small group of people around us who were clearly used to no loudness in here.

"Eli, shhh." I said, as I never liked attention on me.

"Oh does this bother you?" he said, his voice going up as the sentence continued on.

"_Eli._" I said, through gritted teeth, trying to send a friendly smile to the people who were definitely now staring at us.

"Oh, I'm sorry everyone, we just have someone over here who clearly doesn't know food code #1, never touch someone else's food." He turned around this time, addressing everyone. One or two people laughed but the rest found nothing funny in Eli's little speech and shook their head with a look that said 'Why do I even come out of the house?'

"Oh my gosh, Eli if you don't sit down and shut up I'll-"

He cut me off by turning around quickly and getting close to me, looking me in the eyes, "You'll what?"

Oh course, I didn't have anything to say, I was just trying to make him sit down. In an act of defeat, I sat down looking at him angrily, but I know all he saw was an imaginary white flag going off next to me with confetti and fireworks that spelt out defeat with exclamation points.

"Exactly." Eli said, with a smirk, "But at least you've learned a lesson, don't touch my food."

"Next time, there won't be anyone around though." I said, smiling.

"That could be beneficial for the both of us."

Of course I gave up with any comeback not only for the fact that I didn't have one but because my waffles were waiting there for me to give them attention and I would never deprive my waffles of the attention they deserved. So, I went to eating my breakfast for dinner and Eli to eating his dinner.

As I was close to finishing my first waffle, I thought of something, "So, are we sleeping in your car?"

Eli looked up and said, "I suppose, I think that's what a road trip implies. Being on the road, sleep and all." Then he had a look that would go perfectly along with one of those light bulb above the head cartoons, "Or… I have the perfect place."

Then he went back to eating, not saying anything. I waited, thinking he'd say it but time just went by and he didn't say anything.

"Which is?" I asked.

"A surprise. It'd be no fun if I told you." He said, with the tenth smirk in a row and at this point, smacking it off his face was the only option. But I held my hand back by continuing to eat my waffles and just let it go. I had trust that hopefully, wherever this surprise was, was going to be worth the wait.

Once we finished eating and we both paid for our food, Eli grabbed my hand excitedly and practically pulled me out my seat as we ran out. I guess wherever we were going had to be pretty cool and worth the wait of a surprise.

* * *

What is the surprise place? Hmmm? Do we know? ((well I know, obviously but I was trying to be cute idk)) Anyway, forgive me for being a horrible author and not updating for a while because I love you okay I'm sorry! Please review and tell me what ya think ((even if it's I think you should update more, that's totally acceptable I accept the effects of my lack of action haha and as always you have the right to dislike me for not updating lol))


	23. The Mystery Place

Oh gosh I didn't realize how long I haven't updated and I hope you all weren't too tired of the wait I'm a horrible person I'm sorry omg but here we have a new chapter and I like it a lot so hopefully you do too and that makes up for my horrible time management skills!

* * *

My eyes were shut tightly closed as requested by Eli as we pulled closer to the mystery place that he was ever so excited to show me. I didn't have a clue what it would be and I was trying to fight the urge I had to try and figure it out. I was just going to let it be a surprise.

I heard the brakes quietly squeak to a stop and the car was no longer moving. Eli instructed me to continure to keep my eyes shut closed as he got out of the car and walked around over to my side, opening the door and guiding me out. I felt leaves and branches crushing underneath my feet as he led me out. I now completely had no clue what this surprise was. He put his hands over my eyes and said, "Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

He uncovered my eyes to reveal a log cabin, a really long but not tall log cabin. Of course, part of me was relieved that we weren't going to be sleeping in his car but as I looked around and realized we were in the woods, the deep woods as a matter of fact, every Criminal Minds episode that I had ever watched came rushing through my brain. Eli had a huge smile on his face as he displayed the wood house to me.

I smiled, trying to not show my fear but as always, Eli noticed, "What?"

"It's just, we're in the woods." I said.

"And? It's not like Bigfoot is gonna come and eat you and if he does, he'll have to get through me first." Eli said. I opened my mouth to continue but Eli put a finger up to silence me and continued, "Come on, once you get inside I'm sure you'll feel better."

I supposed Eli was right, this time. So, I picked up my bag from the backseat and followed him inside. As I walked in, I had to admit, he _was_ right. Everything looked golden, like I had put on a pair of sunglasses. The ceiling was high, with a big light in the middle, covering the entire living room with a yellow, sun-like glow. It smelled like wood, obviously. But more importantly it smelled and felt like home, that said something, considering I'd never been here or in a log cabin at all. Of course, home was somewhere you could come to and feel safe and I didn't feel safe in the woods in the slightest but it felt like somewhere that could potentially be a safe haven.

"So," Eli said, coming up in front of me, "Now, what do you think?"

"It's pretty cool." I said, "What's the story behind it?"

Eli rolled his eyes but smirked as if he was expecting that question, which he probably was.

"Well, my dad used to hunt a lot and when he does, my mom and I usually come with him, though we don't really do any hunting. I didn't when I was younger but I've gone a few times with him. Anyways, when we do, we stay here. My dad hasn't gone hunting in a while though, caught up with work and stuff. I guess he still keeps up on the place though," he said, now with his head in the refrigerator. He came out to look at me, "Stocked fridge."

I mocked an amazed face then laughed. As I put my bags in one of the rooms, I came in to see the TV on with one of those black and white pixellated screens that reminded me of bugs when I was younger. He was sitting on the ground in front of it, going through DVDs. I kneeled down behind him and glanced at what movies he had.

"Jaws, Saturday Night Fever, Back to the Future, Footloose?" I read some of the names as they went through his hands, "All that's missing is the Breakfast Club."

"Don't worry, we have that too." Eli said, showing me the John Hughes' classic, "My mom's a big 70s and 80s movie freak so that's basically all we have. Plus, being in the middle of nowhere means no service for phones or cable."

"That's fine, I'm not dying to complain about the horrible time I'm having on social media." I laughed, hopping onto the couch, pulling the blanket that hung over the top onto me.

"That would be reasonable if you had an audience on social networking. Your one friend that likes everything because she feels bad and me sarcastically responding to everything you post doesn't count." Eli smirked as he looked back at me over his shoulder.

"Better than nothing." I shrugged as he put in a DVD and came over and sat next to me.

When he sat down, he pulled himself underneath the blanket along with me. I sat with my legs pressed against my torso as I wrapped my arms around my knees. But once Eli joined and the blanket shifted over to him, I moved over little by little, trying to get more covers to get back to the level of cozy I was before he joined. I looked at him, then at his shoulder then back at him. I didn't want to be awkward but I didn't want to be cold either. I look another glance at his shoulder before actually going for it. I scooted as close as I could to him and put my head on his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his arm, holing him pretty closely.

As the opening sequence of the Breakfast Club started to roll, I felt my eyes getting heavier. I didn't know why, it was only nine or ten and I usually had trouble going to sleep at three when I was at home. But as much as I tried to keep my eyes open they kept fighting against me and continued to persist in resting and eventually I couldn't continue with the fight and gave in.

After what I could assume was about 2 hours, which was a clue given by the fact that the DVD menu was up on the TV, my eyes opened to see the frozen TV. I looked over and Eli was asleep too. I could hear the crickets outside indicating the silent and still night. Along with that, I heard the breeze outside, traveling around the cabin. It let me know we were in a space, a huge space filled with the nothing and home to the unknown.

No, I didn't want to admit as a 17 year old high school senior that I was afraid but I was. I held onto Eli for comfort but a sleeping body couldn't do anything so I was forced by the power of fear to wake him up. I gently shook him while whispering his name and surprisingly, he wasn't a deep sleeper and woke up right away.

"What? There's not like a fire or anything right?" Eli groggily said, covering his eyes from the blinding light of the TV.

"No, I just wanted to talk."

"Talk? What could you possibly want to talk about at 2 AM? The same 2 AM that I was perfect resting in." Eli said, sitting up actually awaking and not just being awake.

"Anything." I said, "I can't sleep and I don't want to be awake by myself."

"Aw, is little Smitchell scared?"

"Maybe." I admitted.

Eli's eyes widened in the dark as if he expected me to come back with a witty remark, in which I actually would have wanted to but I couldn't, and not only was it that I didn't wittily respond back but I responded by admitting he was right but, that was the truth. I was scared and I didn't know of what or even why but since I woke him up to talk to keep me from the scary thoughts that lurked while I was alone in the dark, the least I could do was tell the truth.

"Scared of what?" Eli asked. I could tell he was taking this in a tactful way. He didn't want to make it seem like I was baby to tell me there was no monsters under the bed but he also wasn't going to let me slip away so easily.

"Everything and nothing." I said, looking down at the blanket, already feeling embarrassed, "Emptiness and loneliness scares me because you never know what's in the dark, what's waiting for you while you're alone and then that unknowingness scares me too. You can't prepare for it, you can't plan ahead to avoid it, it's ahead of you. It knows your every move but you don't even know for sure if it's there."

"What's _'it'_?" Eli asked, intrigued in my mindless babble.

"I don't know! That's what scares me. What is _it_? What does _it_ want? Is _it _even there?" I paused, repeated what I said over again in my mind, "I'm crazy, I don't know what I'm talking about."

"No," Eli said, softly and for a first, without any sarcasm and complete sincerity, "You're not crazy, you're scared, like you said. And you don't know of what. That's what everyone's scared of at one point or another. When you were younger, you were scared of the monster in the closet but what was that monster? Was it a bear or a person or just an imaginary fear that you had? Probably the latter."

"Yeah but you're not afraid of-"

"I am definitely afraid of something. The future, what's held in store for the future, the fact that I don't know what's going to happen and I can't control that. It's a pretty common fear, sure, but it's still a fear in the end."

I stared at him, trying to think of the right words to say. I didn't know what to say. I had this picture of Eli as a fearless person and to me that made him this honorable, idol-like figure. But knowing that he was afraid of something, just like me, didn't take that picture away. If anything, it made it stronger. It said that yeah, he was afraid of something but he didn't let it control him. He didn't let it take over his mind and overwhelm him and stop him from doing things. I could only wish I had that type of strength.

Eli cut into my thoughts again, "You said you were scared of loneliness, right?"

I looked up at him and nodded my head, "That's my number one fear. Being alone for the rest of my life, being vulnerable to anything and everything because of having no one around. And it's not that I don't want anyone around, I'm just either too boring or complicated for them to stay."

"Sure you're pretty boring," Eli joked, slowly wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close as he continued, "Okay maybe not too boring. But here's the thing, maybe you just haven't found the right people yet. Maybe, those people that left might realize later on what an amazing girl they walked away from and might come back. And if they don't, well screw them. You're not crazy or boring and you won't be alone for the rest of your life, not if I can help it."

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So I really like this chapter and hopefully you do too and it's enough for you to forgive me for being a horrible updater and neglecting you guys. But no seriously I really a sorry I didn't even realize how long it was, time was going by so fast (which also mean school yuck) but yeah, don't forget to review and if you want to vent your anger towards my bad updating skills feel free to, I will gladly accept them as I deserve it okay hopefully it'll be soon when we talk again!


	24. Down By The Water

Hey hey hey I feel like it hasn't been as long since the last update, hopefully it wasn't? But if it was I'm so super sorry! Also, school's coming up ew and with that comes homework and early sleeping times aka not enough time to write a lot, so the updates might start getting a little slower during school I'm so sorry! But here's the new update, I like it so hopefully you like it!

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As I opened my eyes, a blue and yellow toned light filled my vision from the windows and blinds that had been opened. I sat up to see that Eli was no longer on the couch next to me. I looked around to see that I didn't see him anywhere inside.

After my five minutes of just not getting up and laying down with my eyes open that I always did every morning, I finally stood up, put on a pair of flip flops and looked out the window to see that Eli's car was still out there so, I walked outside to find him sitting on the porch swing. As I got closer to him, I started to see smoke. At first, I thought I was imagining it or rather I hoped I was imagining it. But as I stood next to him, I smelled what I smelled throughout the hallways of my old school, what students liked to call their "inspiration". That inspiration was sitting next to Eli in a small plastic bag and he had some rolled up in paper between his fingers.

"I'm hoping that you picked up some grass and rolled it and decided to see what it tasted like."

Eli chuckled as if I was kidding. It wasn't so much that I wanted to be this person who put down drinking and smoking and "having fun" which I didn't really find fun at all. It was that for one, it was illegal and that was enough to make me stop doing anything and two, probably all the episodes of intervention that I watched all started with people who just did weed at first and escalated into different drugs that would only screw up their lives.

When I sat down in the swing next to him, he blew smoke in the different direction then looked over at me with a look that read his words, "It's not like I'm doing crack."

"And that's what all crackheads say before you find them on the street, pacing back and forth as they're addicted to crack."

"Alright well, I'm not doing crack now. It's not even close to the level of crack." He passed the rolled paper from his one hand to the other, moving it over in the direction of me, "Try it for yourself."

I'd be a liar if I said I didn't hesitate for a minute there. I didn't want to consider myself an easily impressionable and peer pressure-able person but in that moment I could only refer to myself as such. I didn't immediately say no, I thought it over in my head, I looked at it with a maybe look and I hated it. Here I was, talking about how bad drugs were and how I couldn't stand to see Eli smoking but the second he offers it to me, I think it over. What a hypocrite I was.

"I'd rather not." I said, pushing it back to him.

"Your loss." He shrugged, happily taking it back.

Suddenly, getting fed up with myself, I went back into the cabin and decided to get a shower because I knew I'd think about anything and everything unimportant to get my mind back on the right foot. When I got out of the shower, as I searched through my bag for something to wear, I had looked up and saw a red flannel hanging up on the door. I knew it wasn't mine and was Eli's and that was the perfect reason to wear it. I paired it with a pair of black jeans and my black high top Converses. Of course, I didn't bring a hair dryer unaware of the fact we'd be at a log cabin so I had to settle for a wet messy bun that would actually be extremely messy and not cute messy.

When I walked out of the room, Eli was sitting on the couch, hands in a bag of chips, watching Back to the Future before he turned to look at me. He stood up, hopped over the back of the couch, putting the chips on the counter and walked over to me.

"If I recall correctly, that flannel looks extremely familiar." Eli said, in-between crunches of Lays.

"Yeah," I nodded, with a smile, "You've probably seen me wear it before."

"Right." Eli smirked, "Despite the fact that that's my shirt and you're a thief, I have to take you somewhere."

"What?"

"I have to take you somewhere. You doubted me with the log cabin but I proved you wrong so don't doubt me now, you'll love it, I'm sure. And if you don't, well that's your problem but come on." He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me and also grabbing the bag of chips again with one hand then continuing with the pulling of me out of the door, closing it behind him and pulling me once again to the car.

While we drove, as always, Eli told me to close my eyes as it was a surprise and any surprise would be ruined if it was given away by sight. So, I obliged, closing my eyes slightly as he drove for about five minutes unless he pulled to a stop. When I got out, eyes still shut, I stepped on leaves and branches once more realizing we weren't too far from the cabin but oh so far from home. I heard water running like stream and hoped that I wasn't going to be in a Hannah Montana the movie reenactment of the scene where she's in a random waterfall, tarzan-ing from a random rope in the a middle of some random woods. But I heard the water sound very low which couldn't have been a waterfall. So, as I figured we were in the woods and there was water, I already had a mental visual of the surprise but I decided to pretend like I knew nothing as I heard Eli coming close.

"I already know you figured out where we are so open your eyes, you ruined the surprise!" Eli said.

I rolled my eyes open but widened them in surprise at what I saw. It wasn't anything like a small pond that I had imagined in my head. We were standing on the side of a creek with various sized rocks scattered throughout. The water was running over and between and under them at different speeds. There was a big solid log laying over the top of it, almost like a natural bridge to go between sides without getting in the water. I looked over at Eli who was turning up the radio of his car. As he did, I walked over to log that was crossing over the creek. I walked carefully, one foot in front of the other, across the big branch to the middle and sat down. It was a completely different experience looking at the water from there. It was like I was right on top, close enough to fall into it if I wanted to but in control enough to choose plus the breeze was pretty good.

Eli walked across and sat down next to me like there was no fear in the world to him that he just might trip and fall, which there probably wasn't. And if he did fall, he'd probably collapse in pride and pull me along down with him.

"So," I said, staring at the water, it being too pretty to pull my eyes away from, "How'd you find this place?"

"Like I said before, my dad used to go hunting a lot and when I was younger, I couldn't go. So I roamed around the woods looking for something to occupy my time as sitting at the cabin with no cartoons wasn't an option. Then one day, I stumbled upon this place and it became mine, I'd come here when my dad went hunting or things were too boring or when I couldn't sleep. And now I'm sharing it with you. You're the first person I've shown it too so you should feel very honored."

I laughed as I got up from my seating and walked back over to his car. From the sounds of the water hitting the rocks and waving back and forth, I couldn't hear the music so I decided to get closer. It seemed like whatever Eli had put on this time was pretty good for my taste. I didn't really have the tolerance for screams of Escape the Fate. As the playlist of songs went on, I sat on the hood of the car, leaning back on the window, closing my eyes and listening to the songs.

"You know, I have something that could make the music sound way better."

Eli's voice startled my eyes open and my body to shake. I sighed and oblivious to what he had actually meant at the time, thinking maybe he meant different speakers or something, I asked what. In response, he pulled out the small plastic bag that I wanted to throw into the creek and watch wash away with the water.

"No, no, no!" I exclaimed, pushing the bag away, "There's no way I'm doing drugs. They're illegal, it's only going to lead to more problems and no!"

"There are no cops within a 25 mile radius of here and it does more to solve problems than create them. Plus, I didn't say you had to do it or even do it again if you did it this time, I just suggested that it'd make the music sound better. Take it as a trial, you're not locked into a 2 year contract or in this case, a lifetime of drug abuse, you have 60 days or rather this moment right now to try it, just see how it feels."

I paused, staring at Eli. What he said did make a lot of sense but I felt like I was going back on all my morals by doing this. Then I took a step back, out of my position right there and took a good look at what was going on. I was already sneaking out of the house on a trip with a boy my father has never met or even heard of. All my morals were already thrown out the window once I agreed to this trip. Doing one more thing couldn't hurt what was already probably in store for me once I got back home. So, not so reluctantly, I agreed to try it.

It felt weird, sitting there with a blunt between my fingers. I felt like such a poser and hypocrite. I was always the one who said I'd never drink until I was 21 or smoke because it was illegal. Yet here I was, getting ready to do it. Trying to calm the voices in my head at the same time and get this over with, I went straight to it. I put the blunt between my lips, inhaling the smoke. Within seconds, I started coughing uncontrollably and Eli started chuckling.

"Such a beginner."

I rolled my eyes as I went for another hit, if that was what it was called. This time, I lasted a few more seconds holding my smoke than the last time, which I supposed was good. Or was just a lead way to me doing it more and more. But as I continued on, hit by hit, the voices in my head started to silence like they all went to sleep or rather went to vacation. Then everything and nothing started to seem hilarious, like I had just watched the funniest movie on TV tripled over each other with added bonus funny moments. Eli and I would just look at each other and start laughing for absolutely nothing. After that I realized why Eli bought the bag of chips as I suddenly was more hungry than I could have ever imagined. I had no clue why they called them the munchies when you more than likely demolished any food that was around. Both Eli and I kept grabbing handfuls of chips, stuffing our faces and crunching for about a minute, swallowing and then going back for more until the entire bag was gone and needless to say, I was still hungry but with no more food being around, I had to shut down that voice telling me to eat some more and boy was it a loud voice. Then I had nothing to do but to focus on everything around me, the trees seemed like more than trees like they all had some story or something behind them. I tried figuring out their stories, to see what I could understand about them, I had clue what was going through my head. So, instead I turned to the music. Every instrument started to play louder for me to hear, like each one was fighting for dominance in the mind of Summer. Then I heard the beginning progressions to one of my favorite songs ever.

As Down by the Water by The Drums started to play, I grabbed Eli off of the hood to dance with me. And as we were both zoned off into another world, we didn't care about looking or feeling foolish. I pulled him down to the edge of creek and we stood, wrapped around each other, rocking back and forth to the slow song. We spun around as we rocked, moving all around not focusing on where we were going so as we kept moving back and forth, we moved closer and closer to the actual edge until we fell into the creek. We looked at each other as we dived into the water, laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world and got back up and continued to dance. But we kept tripping over rocks, falling back down and doing that over and over even after that song was over and a different one came on. We just kept dancing and falling and getting back up for what felt like forever.

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Ooooh interesting yes? Also, disclaimer (well not really a disclaimer just a lil note) I've never been high so I have absolutely no clue what it feels like to be high, I tried to do research on it lol and hopefully this seems about right from what I've read I just don't have any personal experience with it so I couldn't write it like perfectly but hopefully I did a good job. Speaking of good jobs, you should definitely write a review. Yes, I know that has absolutely no correlation to good jobs but I just tried to fit it in and for that failed but well executed attempt, you should review this chapter pleaseee plus you get to make fun of me ya know if you want whatever makes you happy (reviews make me happy) alright I'm gonna go now see you next time!


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